Change is the only constant.
Life is always changing, sometimes slowly, sometimes instantly, however it happens life will evolve and you grow along with it.
This week littlegem become full term with her pregnancy. The baby could come any day and we await the arrival, of what should be at time of writing, the last piece of the puzzle to our family.
A Change in D/s
We have had to adapt to the challenges of growing life inside littlegem. In some ways it opened up new avenues, especially in regards to care. Care is a big part of my Dominance and it is important that I’m looking after her needs, even if that surmounts to making dinner for her in the evening and getting her to rest. It’s not that I didn’t care for her before it is more that she becomes dependant on my help, sometimes begrudgingly.
But it is no secret that having children is a commitment. It is a strain and it is a challenge at times and we haven’t even got to the part where it is even born yet, let alone the fact I’m not the one even carrying it. Care also means taking on roles I wouldn’t otherwise. Energy and time is taken away from more active D/s pursuits and in its place are the necessities to maintain our family life, or the rest from those activities.
D/s has changed for us, it was always going to and having that expectation has helped. Very soon it’ll all change again and we’ll have to re think how our D/s works for us.
Chain and Cuff
It’s not just the new arrival that is changing things. Our eldest is now 5 and becoming more aware of what is around her. Most of what she sees in regards to our D/s is a Mum and Dad that work together and look out for each other. Love and commitment is what I want our relationship to look like and I hope as they all grow they will see that.
What I perhaps don’t want them to see yet is some of the equipment and toys we have, now they are at an age that they are inquiring and developing first memories, and I’d rather it wasn’t a memory that will scar their mind for the rest of their life.
To that end, the cuff that has gone around littlegem’s ankle every night for the last 3 and a half years is being replaced. Originally I had wanted a thick night collar with a metal chain attached to the headboard, but had ultimately gone for a cuff around the ankle instead. Then the chain got removed and littlegem needed to be more mobile during the night. Now it is gone altogether, it still makes noise when she walks around and the kids have noticed.
There is a symbolic importance to the cuff, it is one of our oldest rituals and being physically tied to my bed strengthened the roles of the Dominant and the submissive. I didn’t want this to end, so together we came up with an alternative.
I suggested that she have an anklet on her at all times. No need for it to be removed or to have permission to have it taken off in the middle of the night so she can go to the toilet, just a constant reminder that she is mine.
Littlegem has made her own jewellery before and she was asked to come up with designs that I would then approve. The following week she made it, now it is there for the foreseeable future. The kids clocked it on day 1 but at least it’s jewellery so can be hidden in plain sight.
A New Era
Change will happen and with it our D/s will evolve, although in what direction I’m not certain right now. In any relationship it’s important to evaluate what is working and what isn’t. Most likely our lives will be busy for a while and our D/s will be shaped around that lifestyle.
Our last baby, and the drop in intimacy and connection after was the kick start to our dynamic in the first place. Hopefully this time we are more prepared and more connected to avoid feeling distant and maybe it could be the start of many new things.