Is it the role of the Dominant to seek out their sexual pleasures, using their submissive as the medium to explore fantasies and kink. The actions of the Dominant thereby satisfying the needs of the submissive by giving them the knowledge that their role fulfils the needs of their partner. Or is it the role of the Dominant to actively pursue the interests of the submissive, pushing them beyond their limits so that they achieve the satisfaction they want that they otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do so themselves?
The answer to these questions are probably best answered by acknowledging the type of person you are and the way the dynamic works best. No D/s relationship is the same so it can be difficult to know the best path to choose.
For me the most natural path to take is the one that tries to fulfil the needs of my partner by listening to what she wants, then trying to create a situation to achieve it. Maybe it’s me trying to be a people pleaser, in this case littlegem. It’s important to me that her needs are met and would want to feel like I am putting her first.
She wants to be micromanaged; I make a routine for her to keep track of her duties. She wants her orgasms controlled; so I only let her with permission. The play we do is heavily influenced by what littlegem tells me she would like to do. It is then up to me to plan and action those requests, that is how our relationship works. This is how I’m stacked, but is this a case of me being ‘too nice’.
Littlegem is told in the morning of the evening’s activity, a massage. Not the kinkiest thing in the world I know but there is another reason for this. I will be performing an internal massage that is medically beneficial to her pregnancy. It can be uncomfortable so the relaxed atmosphere, the music, the cushions, the blindfold are all part of an experience to mitigate the discomfort and turn it into a pleasurable one.
With that decided I get a message during the day.
“The package arrived today.”
‘The package’ is a medical device to train littlegem’s pelvic floor and is to be used in unison with my massage. Essentially it’s an inflatable balloon that goes inside her and is expanded. Littlegem, being the pervert that she is, sees a kink purpose for this as she loves the feeling of being filled and stretched.
Later, after returning home from work littlegem has a confession to make. A friend has sent her a video, a sexy video, a video she has watched and then masturbated and orgasmed to. She had not asked permission nor had she recorded it for my pleasure later (an allowable exception to the rule).
This is great I think to myself, a time to flex my Dom muscles and lay down the law.
“Ok then, I want you message them back and tell them what you did.”
Yeah that’ll get her, I think to myself. The perfect punishment, getting her to admit her dirty deed to the friend that only sent it to her to get her opinion on it. That’ll make her squirm uncomfortably.
Her reaction was unexpected; “I’ve already told them.”
I have misjudged her embarrassment factor and it plays on my mind as we go into the evening. First up is the new medical balloon device. This wasn’t really play as we were trying it out before we knew the kids were fully asleep. But it was no surprise that the expanding balloon did indeed turn her on and wanting to orgasm again.
“I’ll still want you to play with me later”, she says, justifying her need for more satisfaction. I had thought about denying her, but I want to see what this new ‘toy’ can do. Sure enough with a few extra squeezes to inflate the balloon and some clitoral stimulus she comes again.
Later, with the kids fast asleep and with enough time to relax again it is time for the massage. A space is made in the centre of the room with cushions to get her in the right position, the blindfold is applied and she is transported to the rainforest with the sounds of birds and insects. I set to work massaging every inch, trying to take it slowly and make it a relaxing experience.
It becomes clear that she is quite sensitive to my touch, especially around the inner thigh and breasts. The noises tell me she is ready for a more thorough internal massage once I am done. That way I can fun with her and have some fun.
The internal massage doesn’t start off in the best way, she says she feels a lot of pressure that she can’t release but seems to enjoy the ‘medical’ element of the massage. Moving my body next to hers I kiss her gently to create a better connection, to her surprise since she is blindfolded. My fingers have moved to her clit and this alone is having a big effect.
“Daddy…” She sounds panicked, I know what this means
“It’s ok, I want you to squirt for me.”
With those words of approval she does, and not a small amount. It sprays out again and again to my delight. For her it is a mix of relief and humiliation as she makes a complete mess of the waterproof blanket I thankfully laid down.
From there she tells me that she ‘needs’ sex and I am all to happy to provide that service. We are sweaty, sticky and wet, littlegem closes her eyes as she is done. This is the time I think that instead of punishing her she’s now had no less than 3 climactic events.
Am I letting her down by not following up on an established rule or am I just reading the situation. She’s pregnant, horny and there are other factors at play, I would rather maximise this time as it isn’t sexy all of time, in fact most of the time. She knows that I love the thought of her feelings overtaking her and masturbating during the day, even if I’m not there to see it. My role as the Dom is to encourage her to feel satisfied and comfortable in her pregnant body and I think this is the best way about it.
I know littlegem feels humiliation from the thought of squirting. I took a photo after play which I know will make her squirm, maybe I’m not so nice after all.