Our D/s has been on the very low simmer for a while now. It’s not necessarily been a bad thing, so much has been happening that it has been hard to keep up regular play or even have the energy or inclination to do so. That being said, it’s a simmer, not a complete switch off. We still have our weekly maintenance chats that focus on us and D/s, also our rules and rituals have been kept up. But as these things are so intertwined into our daily lives we don’t notice them necessary as D/s anymore, just how we are as a couple.
That all changed slightly when we made the decision to expand our family. There was a new energy and excitement added to our sexual relationship, even a new kink being explored.
Seeds of excitement
Something we had knowledge about each other but hadn’t really explored too much was a breeding fetish. Being used for the purpose of Daddy’s seed to be planted inside. We both enjoy this element of kink, for me it’s a good mix of the humiliation of being used and controlled, a prize possession worthy of being chosen. Lactation and Hu-cow kinks also come into play.
We discovered early on in our D/s that lactation was certainly something PS enjoyed seeing in me and playing around with. At the time our youngest was only a few months old and with her being not the easiest baby to breastfeed I never really completely got my head around my milk being used for anything other than our baby. It was also so early in our D/s that we were really just figuring things out and certainly my body image issues and certainly my negative view on my breasts and nipples didn’t help that either.
So much has changed over the years, I still can’t believe sometimes how my acceptance of taking photos and celebrating my body has evolved to what it is now. Although my issues still remain in the background and possibly always will, with PS’s control they are only a whisper in comparison.
We fell pregnant much faster than I certainly anticipated, which is brilliant of course, but within a few weeks our new found energy to our D/s hit a bit of a pause. Constant nausea, vomiting and zero energy are not really predicative with sexy play time. My focus shifted entirely to just getting through the day which meant that nothing was left for PS.
Yes I know it was only going to last a few weeks and it’s perfectly understandable given the situation, but I’m really good at seeing negatives and getting down when I feel a failure.
I will point out that PS never entertained this notion in me and was incredibly supportive, as he always is. His care side of being a Dom certainly got increased exponentially and I consider myself very lucky and grateful that he was meeting all my needs possible whilst his were sidelined temporarily.
13 weeks and counting
By week 12 our pregnant pause was able to hit play again, albeit at a slow pace. I am feeling a lot more like myself and once we had our pregnancy dating scan (where 12 weeks shifted to 13) and everything was all well and as expected, it was like a weight had been lifted from me. The timing couldn’t be more perfect as this weekend marks our 6 year wedding anniversary (13 years together total) and we had some child free time together to celebrate.
Over a lovely lunch at one of our favourite restaurants we were able to have a long chat about our D/s and its future. Most importantly I emphasised to PS the want I have for him and our play to continue. I know there will be times when life gets in the way and that’s okay, it’s expected. It’s the ability to keep each other going through those times and doing little things to show that we haven’t forgotten our roles, or each other.
We also got out in-between the rain showers to take some erotic pregnancy photos, the full shoot will be available on my Only Fans shortly!
I have linked this post up to Wicked Wednesday for the prompt ‘self care’ certainly a relaxing time child free is self care for me!