This is part 3 of a week long diary, covering real life events and thoughts over 7 days. To start from the beginning click here.
The sex we had the night previous is still on her mind the morning after. It is because I’m rubbing her crotch and reminding her about it. It has been at least 5 days since she last had an orgasm and seeing her squirm at her eagerness to have one makes me smile. It also seems to focus her mind away from other things as she sends me a sexy message again in the morning not long after I’ve arrived at work. The conversation leads to me telling her that want her to gently suck my cock later that evening, her response is positive, happy be doing something connective together.
I haven’t decided when I want her to cum next. There is a relationship between her having orgasms and acting up because she has been given too much control. There are incentives to encourage denial, this week for example I’ve written on her weekly task sheet that she is to masturbate during the day. However I have also recently stopped allowing her to cum on her own.
The advantage before was that it helped her create content for her OnlyFans, but if it is having a negative effect on her mindset then change needs to be made. I want her to feel the edge of pleasure again and again as it produces a submissive mindset in her and gives me an increased feeling of control. Ultimately having her feel submissive for as much as possible is the goal. Despite having a 24/7 power exchange I couldn’t possibly expect her to be ‘on’ all of the time, the same for me.
There is also a points incentive for her to have a chain of denial. There is a formula for how these points are awarded:
P = n(n-1) / 2
*Where P equals the number of points received and n is the number of consecutive orgasm denials.
Simply put she gets 1 point for being denied once, 2 for the next, then 3, then 4, with the sum of the previous added as well each time. This incentivises long chains, as well as lots of ‘good girl’ and making her feel that she is doing it for me. It helps me feel positive about my actions as I am giving her a carrot for playing the way I desire.
Knowing that this can easily fall flat if I don’t keep her in the right frame of mind is always considered, that’s what makes it challenging for me to decide when she is to cum. Right now though, the positives of creating a submissive mentality are what persuade me to continue.
A Change in Direction
However by the time the evening rolls around she tells me her tummy hurts and that she has ‘zero interest’ in sexual play. Her period is due, I have known this because I track it on my phone and I am always wary of pushing too much during this time. At the beginning of the evening she asks for chocolate, for which she is provided a box of kinder eggs (A supply of chocolate is kept in the house for such occurrences). She also asks if she can do some colouring, which I allow and get out for her. Looking through her Ruby box she finds her Pinkie Pie Pez dispenser for even more sustenance.
It is clear that she needs a lot of care, but given that I had asked her to suck my cock earlier that day I’m unsure how to proceed. I remind her of the conversation we had and that I understand the situation had changed, now that she was hurting, giving her an out. She needed to know of the processes in my head and that I hadn’t just forgotten about it. Initially she took the out, we cuddled and talked, however she soon asked if she could suck me. I’m proud of her for doing so, she was under no obligation to do so. This form of active submission makes me feel desired and I enjoy the feeling of her resting her head on my stomach as she gently uses her mouth on me. She is given some attention too but neither of us orgasm, it was just relaxing way to finish the day.