Growing on Me

Growing on Me

There is good reason why despite the nature of the blog there is a distinct lack of male nudity, i.e me. Why have pictures of me when you could see littlegem. After all she is beautiful and when I look at her she inspires all sorts of photography ideas. I do not have such inspiration for myself nor do I believe that my naked physical appearance is as desirable as hers. 

Obviously being a couple most of the things that we do, we do together. Littlegem will dress down or get naked. I then enjoy taking and editing the photos, littlegem enjoys looking at the best photos that make the cut. I am displaying her in her best form as well as I can. 

I have looked at myself and I don’t have the same sense of inspiration. I don’t mentally picture the types of images I which to create, or places I’d like to visit that would provide a backdrop to a nude photo, with the exception of maybe an artsy androgynous style photo when I’m feeling a little more brave. It all comes back to thinking, who would want to see this?

But things change. The way you view yourself doesn’t have to continue, of course there are always barriers to that. I remember years ago going swimming regularly, at first I’d always change in the cubicle before timidly making my way to the pool. As time went by it was clear that no-one cared what you looked like. You were there for the purpose of changing and there should be no shame in it. Because that’s the emotion I felt, shame. Eventually I took my clothes off in the changing room no problem, nobody stared, nobody said ew. Nobody noticed, in fact it became clear that those hiding it were drawing more attention to themselves.

A communal setting differs greatly from when it is just you, naked alone. All of a sudden your own naked body is subject to more visual scrutiny and knowledge of that can be uncomfortable. I become more aware of the things I don’t like, my skin isn’t the best and my physical form has been a topic of discussion in my own head for years.

But of recent, I have found some acceptance in myself, like I am growing into my body. This is partly because I started exercising again. It seems the act of at least making an effort to look after myself makes a difference. Its a case of acknowledging that I won’t be the best, but that I shouldn’t stop doing my best and respect my body. On the outside not a lot has changed*, but inside I know that I’m pushing myself, that I’m getting better. Finding that motivation to start, and then again to continue, is an ongoing work in progress. Things get in the way, excuses are easily made.

*I have noticed my clothes becoming looser and as a smaller male there is a real possibility that I’ll need to buy children’s clothes to fit me. 

There has been a few odd glimpses of me on this blog. Feedback has been positive and I find myself becoming more confident in myself. It’s a shame that it makes more impact coming from somebody else rather than my own partner, because she’s meant to find me attractive, right? It’s not that it doesn’t make a difference. I know she loves me and cares about me and doesn’t really mind how I look. The fact is that when someone other than my partner compliments me it gives me a buzz, almost of disbelief. It’s just something I’m not used to and I don’t know how to deal with it. Somebody may compliment my cock and I feel so vein for how I feel, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it. 

So my feelings have changed, I’ve realised that in the right circumstances that I can feel sexy. That feeling can transfer into my confidence if I let it. I know that given the right circumstances I could comfortably be naked in front of others, although they are very strict circumstances. The battle is mental as well as physical and it all takes effort. But I know who I used to be, I know how I used to feel about myself. So I know that I have made progress and that who I am comes out more, but there is a long way to go, so don’t expect a flurry of images of me now. I still don’t have that inspiration that I get with littlegem, I just don’t hate how I look so much. 

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21 Replies to “Growing on Me

  1. This is a very sexy picture of you PS and I am glad that you are starting to challenge the negative thoughts in your head. I can relate to so much of what you have written here. I notice what you say about others’ comments making more of a difference that Gem’s and I wonder if it is the same as with HL and I. He commonly compliments me and how I look and although I know he means it the negative voice remains. So I have felt that when others do it then they add to his voice and actually make it stronger so that it becomes more of a challenge to the self voice. Regardless you look hot and whether or not you feel inspired by images of yourself, I would like to see more of you. ❤️

    1. Thank you missy, you are certainly one of the voices that have helped me feel better about myself and encouraging myself and gem and I’m very grateful for that. I have found your images incredibly sexy and hope my comments make you feel better about yourself. I havent decided about myself, maybe I’ll have do some images just for you. ☺️

      1. I agree that – “it became clear that those hiding it were drawing more attention to themselves.”
        and u know what? sometimes I think they want the attention.

        Also confidence is far more sexy than anything else imo – oh and intelligence lol
        x

  2. Great picture PS! Looks like your going for the poster boy look!
    I can say, having seen you naked body in very close proximity from various angels you having nothing to concern yourself about! Admittedly that’s from the point of view from a large white rhino!

  3. i totally get where you are coming from. i was the smallest player on my first football team. i remember trying to hide both getting ready to play and showering in the locker room. i was the speed guy who could leap and had moves. i certainly enjoy your photos of the both of you. She is beautiful and you have a nice body. both your bodies are inspiring to me,
    keep up the good work

  4. Your image really is stunning. We hear a lot about women and issues with body image, but since I got into sex blogging, I’ve been seeing more and more the insecurities men have as well. I’ll compliment my lover and call him sexy or something and he’ll deny it. I know it has to do with his insecurities about having a dad bod and getting older. I guess it just shows that partners can love your body, but in the end, it’s going fall onto your own opinions about your body.

  5. Well, I certainly agree with you about your comment about littlegem’s photos, it’s nice to see you too. This is a good shot.

  6. PS, I really hope we see more of you on the blog, because you really are a sexy man, if I may be so blunt to say it like that 😉
    I understand what you say about confidence coming from others, but I think sometimes we need that, to ‘unlock’ the confidence in ourselves. Keep on sharing some of you on here too!
    ~ Marie

  7. This picture is hot, it’s classy, it has intent and is intensely sexy in a suggestive way. I like it. I like the progress of the attitude about yourself you have shown in your writing. I agree Little Gem has a lovely body and the camera loves her, but do not do yourself down – what you’ve shared is enigmatic and great to look at.

  8. *I will not objectify PS. I will not objectify PS. I will not objectify PS* Fuck, this is hot! What a great picture! I am glad to hear that you have found some confidence and I hope we will get to see more pictures of you!

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