When we 19 littlegem gave me a gift, I can’t remember the occasion, but I can distinctly remember her coy look as she handed it to me. It was a collection of erotic photos she had taken at home, printed off on the family computer and bound in shiny purple card. Inside, the photos were of her in stockings and corsets with notes saying “something to think of while I’m not here”, we both were still living with our parents at this time.
Teenage me was blown away. Firstly the fact that she had done this, she is shy and has taken the time to do this for me. I hugged her and thanked her for my collection of photos. Now I had my very own porn mag. This was the end of the organic porn age, foraging for porn under a hedge, online porn was very much a thing but this was different. It didn’t matter that the quality wasn’t professional or that she looked super nervous in some of the shots, it was endearing even. It was special because it was the person I love putting themselves out of their comfort zone for me.
I still have it many years and house moves later, in a secret place. I may have a sneaky peek if I have cause to go into our loft to get something down. It reminds me how far we have come. Only a handful of erotic photos were taken in the early years of our relationship.
Beginnings of an Erotic Photo Adventure
Not long after getting married and before we decided to have children I ask littlegem to model for me. She wore her wedding lingerie and I covered the bed in silk sheets (how cliché). Thinking back I feel bad because I pushed her a little to do it.
Littlegem has always been beautiful, no more so than when she became pregnant a few months later, in fact it gave me feelings I didn’t know I had, a beautiful curve of the bump, the engorged breasts. But pregnancy is a huge undertaking, the sickness, aches and pains of physical change and the emotional toll of hormonal changes. Its understandable why she didn’t quite see it that way. The only photos we took were functional to show progress rather than erotic, as we still wanted to record this part of our life.
Having children had a large impact on her, an emotional response to not feeling happy about herself and her body. It wasn’t long after that she asked to be submissive to me, to help deal with those emotions. Although this wasn’t primarily about taking photos, it was about feeling good about herself again.
Taking photos is now very much part of our D/s lifestyle, I enjoy littlegem being a model for me. I create a scene and she follows my instruction. I love every part, from thinking about it, taking the photos and looking through them all as I edit them. I want littlegem to feel sexy as a result of this process.
Body image worries are not to be underestimated and it’s always a conflict how to manage a partner that doesn’t always feel comfortable. My love and support isn’t enough, I need to prove that she is sexy. To take photos that make her proud of herself, to show them to the world so that she may be displayed in all her glory. To see her in my eyes. This challenge pushes me to come up with new ways to showcase her and I embrace that challenge.
A crucial part of what we are is making each other feel better about ourselves. Littlegem has that fantasy of being shown off for all to admire and likewise I get satisfaction from putting her on display. Her body is beautiful and by putting her in front of a camera there is this wonderful moment where she looks so comfortable, so happy. I love this because there are so many other times in our life where I see the opposite, the one in which I see I her judging herself unfairly.
Since going D/s and taking more images there is now around 5000 photos taken from the last 2 years, in multiple folders, it’s becoming an organisational problem. Then we started making videos and that made it even worse.
The next natural step from making erotic photos is erotic videos. The videos we make go onto littlegem’s OnlyFans site and is a reflection of the play that we do, giggles and kisses left in. The pleasure and the enjoyment is real, the only difference is having to do all of the camerawork to find the best angles, if only we had someone to film for us. The primary purpose of making our own porn is to have fun. We both get enjoyment from capturing our play, watching it back and then allowing others to watch. It is down to choice, we are both consenting adults and have equal say in what gets included and at any time, this consent can be removed at any point. This mutual trust and respect is essential to any partners sharing porn online.
Porn can be divisive, in its attitudes towards those shown on screen, typically women. It can be seen as unrealistic and a bad example to those watching. But it can be empowering, being open with sexual desire, being somebody’s erotic fantasy. Much like the gift she gave me many years ago, it makes her feel sexy knowing that somebody is watching and getting sexual pleasure from it. Being seen as a sexual object takes away the everyday labels of house wife or mother. It is her choice to be seen this way and I embrace the positivity that it brings.