Defining edge play
What classes as edge play I think would change slightly from person to person. Generally speaking it is a type of play that is more risky and challenges the safe, sane and consensual outlook on BDSM kink play. An example I found where I wouldn’t class it as edge play would be wax play. Perhaps it’s the way we play with it, but for me wax play isn’t pushing me to the edge. Yes it’s hot in more ways than one and enjoyable but it hasn’t got the same reaction as say breathe play would on the risk level. Let’s not get bogged down with terminology though because really for me whatever type of thing it is or what it’s called doesn’t matter, it’s whether you enjoy it or not which should determine if you do it.
Too keen to edge play?
If any one was to ask me, I would say I really enjoy edge play, any kind just bring it on. Sometimes I feel I do give off the air of ‘up for anything’. Yes that did get me into a spot of trouble as a teen, no I haven’t learnt. It’s not a deliberate conscious thing, part of me just gets excited easily. Whilst I am a really curious person and naturally will try most things that others may perceive as edgy, I have to be in the right place to do so in my mind.
I am lucky that PurpleSole knows me well enough to look past my eagerness and whilst it isn’t a front, I am just a bit more complex than ‘up for everything’ deep down than even I would realise. Sometimes I do set myself up a bit with my excited keen side and provoke PS into pushing me, then when it comes down to the actual play I back off. Perhaps this is the part of me showing that wants to be controlled and won over, or just deep down i’m a timid little girl that really shouldn’t be asking for the big scary things. Either way edge play does feature in our dynamic and for the reasons above it’s not always successful. If you wanted to read examples of this, Pain and Littlegem talking about needle play being semi successful.
How to get started
Early on in our D/s dynamic we made a traffic light list of things we wanted to try. Red being never, amber for curious but approach with caution and green for all good to go. Things have moved about a lot but at the beginning a lot of edge play featured in the amber section. We talked in depth about the different things and how they could be used in a positive way for each other. Communication is important along with trust. Without these two things I wouldn’t be comfortable partaking in edge play. Things like our interrogation roleplay would not be smart if PS didn’t have a deep understanding of me physically, my limits and emotional responses. All this has been obtained through communication. Of course observation during the play is just as important, just because something got a good reaction one time might not necessarily mean it will work the next. But it’s certainly a good starting point.
Edge play safety
Although edge play pushes safe, sane and consensual, it still a good idea to be clued up on the safest possible way to do it. Longevity may be an issue if not.
For most play there are varied extremes that could be taken into consideration and used as well. For example breath play. Personally I really don’t want to be asphyxiated, but I do enjoy PS’s hand on my neck and applying minimal pressure. The risk is far less and although I am not being pushed to actual oxygen deprivation hypoxia for me it’s not worth the higher risk. I get off on the slight dizzy feeling of air being restricted (similar to how I naturally hold my breath in build up to an orgasm) and the control being exerted over me by PS.
Another good practice advice would be to discuss and explore safe words and actions. Our play can involve me being in different personas and words can mean different things, a safe word is a definite call to action.
Edge play is another tool that pushes me further into submission when used in the right way. I enjoy being made to lose control, reduced to something simple as responses to PS’s actions. I am a very visual person so the look of a knife against my skin, his body above mine ready to strike or the pointy end of a needle all get me hot. But my mind will fight it or over think it. The physical acts heighten my turned on state but for me my mind does have to be eased into it first. So that I am far enough gone to not talk myself out of it, to wiggle and push back. It’s something I want and crave but wont ask for and resist.