I have had way too much sex recently. My Brain feels like mush and all I’ve wanted to do is go to bed and have a full night’s rest. The reason for this is because we went away, just the two of us, littlegem and I. It has been so good to feel so connected, being able to snuggle into my partner and not having to worry about anything else, at least for a little bit.
A Birthday Treat
It was my idea to take littlegem away, it was her birthday after all and things can get a little lost around Valentine’s Day as well. So it was a weekend of celebrating us in a way. The kids had been shipped off for 2 nights which is unusual. As soon as I finished work on the Friday our time together would begin.
As much as I thought this time alone was just for littlegem the more I knew it was for me as well. The last couple of months haven’t felt right, the play has dropped as have I emotionally. Without those feelings I haven’t been as supportive as I need to be. I have found myself distant and struggling with my own feelings. Often sad or angry with no clear vision as to why.
Throughout this time littlegem and I have both spoken at length about this and what the issues have been. The trouble mainly being down to having little control over the negetive influences. As much as we want to solve the problems during our chats putting them into practice has been a challenge. The time away was seen as good thing for both of us. To reconnect and unwind. Littlegem had all but stopped writing and I have found myself not writing anything for a week for the first time in a long time. Not writing usually means I’m not in the mood or I simply have no vision. That is what I try to keep doing, thinking of new ideas, new play, new ways to keep the fun. But I’d allowed myself to slip. To feel invalidated of my inaction, that I was letting littlegem down.
So in that sense as much as I had organised this trip for her, it was me that needed it most and I did feel guilty knowing this. That’s why I wanted the activities there to be about her. It warmed my heart when we went to a farm and we walked around as littlegem fed the animals. Every time she would giggle and say “nom nom nom” as they ate out of her hand.
We also had plenty of meals, and I know littlegem loves to eat out. On a night we went to the cinema we got hot dogs, nachos with cheese and a large sharing ice cream that we couldn’t finish. It was naughty but importantly it was fun. As we watched the film I felt my guard drop, I was beginning to worry less, to relax. That is always an issue of mine, over thinking and reading too much of a situation and being overly critical.
We got home, had a bath together, had some more sexy talk and I ended up pissing over her. My Dominant feelings becoming more. After we had washed we had sex, the kind of sex where it doesn’t matter how long we do it for. I was in the right space, pounding her as she pushed a sex toy against her clit. Exhausted and sweating slightly, we hit the bed late that night.
On the Road
We only planned to travel away for a night and that meant getting the most out of our time. We took photos, had another meal out and I spanked her hard. Considering the scene earlier littlegem’s bottom was showing a little sign of bruising. Nether-less after breaking a rule I had her bent over my lap and I struck her hard, with my hand and with a paddle. Then I turned her over and did the same to her vagina, slapping and hitting as she squealed in pleasure and pain.
The full video of littlegem being spanked, as well as other videos will soon be coming to her OnlyFans Page.
All of a sudden I realise how much I am enjoying it, knowing I had written before about not liking causing pain. I believe this still to be true, but in this moment I loved hitting her, seeing her reaction, I felt powerful and she submissive. Afterwards we did anal and again I fucked her until I was done with her.
We allowed ourselves time to relax, even finding time to nap while I held her in my arms. Waking up like that feels wonderful, especially in clean white sheets, although they had seen a bit of action.
But we weren’t done. There was also time for us to film her giving me blowjob. This is because she wanted to serve me, to bring me pleasure over her own. What was crucial was that it was purely from littlegem’s own desires. She has always said she wants to be more active in her submission and I reveled in her actioning it.
On the drive home we had time to evaluate. We were both feeling a little tender, the drive an excellent opportunity to give our genitals respite. What we established was the background to our D/s, the stuff outside sex. I was taking the lead more, looking after gem’s needs and making her feel special for it. Clearly my body language was different as hotel and restaurant staff were talking to me rather to both of us. Littlegem was the little girl being looked after by her Daddy and knowing that she felt that felt so good.
It isn’t a dramatic turn around, time away over means back to reality and whilst as I write this I feel a drop from the highs of the time alone, I know we made the most of it. Within the last few weeks I know how withdrawn I have become. I have doubted whether this is what I want, whether I really enjoy being a Dominant. I allowed bad thoughts to swirl in my head and the only thing I allowed out of my mouth was saying that I felt sad.
But I am confident that things will get better. I know that these are the feelings I want to feel. That it takes effort from both of us to support each other. But for now what I need is rest and a cuddle until I’m ready to go again, I’m sure that won’t be long.