I’m lucky to have someone who is not only my wife, but my submissive. Since we have been D/s for almost 2 years, I think it’s safe to say it has become a lifestyle. There are many elements of love and romance that compliment this lifestyle, but that’s not to say it doesn’t have its conflicts.
Romance, Our History
When littlegem and I first got together it perhaps wasn’t the romantic courting it could have been. My ‘technique’ mainly consisted of inviting her round my parents house and when she was in my bedroom I sat on top of her. In my mind actions spoke louder than words, no need to say your intentions if you casually dry hump someone like a horny Jack Russell. Thankfully my smooth moves were reciprocated.
What followed was a lot of sex, what else do you expect with a couple of 18 year old’s with some new relationship energy. It was a fumbling scramble to try every conceivable sexual act that we knew without the freedom of our own house. How naive we were to think we could do it all, considering what we get up to now.
It was only meant to be a summer romance. We both were headed to universities in different cities, I was staying at home while she was going away. It would be unrealistic to expect a relatively young relationship to withstand long distance. It hadn’t been long since we’d said we loved each other in the back of her parents car and had sex by the side of the road. I gave her a photo frame with a picture of us together in it to remember me by, and that was that.
2 Days Later She Returned
Turns out university wasn’t for her. Selfishly I was delighted, my sexy partner in crime was back and our relationship continued.
What followed was having sex on a wooden xylophones in a forest, a car park of a zoo, the kitchen of a friends house and receiving oral sex while driving (don’t do that) amongst many other things. We did more romantic things too, we took each other places, and promptly had sex there too.
A few years later we moved out with a friend in a house where it was generally accepted that you could hear everything, I felt sorry for our housemate. This was a time littlegem would make videos of her masturbating for me to see after I finished work, how little some things change..
I knew littlegem was the one for me. I bought a ring and planned a proposal. A picnic on the beach with elements of our relationship. A London dry Gin and tonic from when I took her to London for a weekend. Sushi from that time she took me to a Japanese themed hotel. Earlier I had gone into her favourite restaurant and ordered a box of calamari to takeaway, which got me odd looks from the staff. The calamari was to be the ‘ring’ I was going to propose with. I had the real ring with me too, a ring box that sat under our bed and consumed my thoughts for weeks like the tell tale heart.
I picked littlegem up and took her to the same seaside town that we had a picnic a year into our relationship. Unfortunately the weather wasn’t playing ball. It was stormy, no way we’re we going outside. So in a car park in howling rain I proposed to littlegem with a fried ring of squid.
For Better for Worse
So we got married. In my wedding speech I said how much I enjoyed how fun littlegem was, the toys she had, her love of cuddly animals and the glow in the dark stars that are still on our ceiling. Clearly this was her little side coming out before we labelled it. After marriage came the children, then came the D/s.
The ring on her collar around her neck is just as important as the rings on her finger that denote her commitment to our marriage. They are a symbol of what we are. She also has her Ruby ring, a present to her last year, that she wears to symbolise her littleness, and because she likes pretty rings.
Let It Go
Becoming Dom and sub makes our relationship better in so many ways. We explore our kinks and turn on’s, just like we did as teenagers. It helps keep our dynamic fresh as there are always nice things to try. We are still romantic, although perhaps not quite in the same way due to our commitments.
Our love is strong but I don’t think that D/s strengthens our relationship. Relationships are work, enjoyable work, but work nonetheless. We make effort for each other to show our love. This could be the dinner that littlegem makes everyday before I come home from work. It could be the little things I do for her, like giving her time to masturbate.
A loving relationship is about respect and this is something we consistently work at. As a submissive littlegem is to respect my commands, but she will fight it. It is down to me to control it and I have been getting advice on this. After all littlegem is in control while I’m away so I need to help her let it go.
It would be naive to think that D/s alone will keep our relationship strong. Drops are inevitable and that love needs to be there. For every romantic moment there is another that challenges our relationship. Family issues, health scares, broken bones. We work on it, we make time to talk to each other. Being sexually compatible is important, but nothing can replace a good cuddle, just you and me.
On Valentines we are going out on a date, although that’s mainly because it matches our childcare plans. It will be a chance to take (what will probably be) Ruby out and spoil her. Because that’s what love is about.