I’m not one for new years resolutions, I don’t believe it’s the best time to make drastic changes to your lifestyle. After all January is, simply put, one of the worst months of the year. There is beauty in winter time, but I’ve had enough now, bring on longer days and warm evenings. But all of this doesn’t mean that we can’t evaluate our life’s and think about how we are and where we want to go.
Hang Ups and Expectations
As much as I hate to admit it I’m just another male that is rubbish at expressing what I’m feeling. Therefore I’m not open to what I enjoy and what new things I would like to try. Writing down my thoughts does a lot to help, I know littlegem reads what I write and vica versa, this prompts discussion that benefits our relationship. But do I express everything with clarity, no, of course I don’t. I have hang ups and I struggle to understand why. I’m not going to get what I want if I don’t say it.
Trusting Myself, Trusting littlegem
The biggest barrier is my brain. Those thoughts that lead you to doubt yourself. During play this leads to a lack of confidence and before you know it the enjoyment has gone. I hate this, that my mood that has created this self fulfilling prophesy.
Just saying ‘feel more confidence’ isn’t going to cut it. I’ve been on this earth long enough to know that it just doesn’t happen that way. But there are things I can do. Better time management, pre planning and contingency plans are just a few things that can be done.
When I plan, I use what littlegem has said. But I don’t always listen to it at the time. “I’ll tell you if you’re pushing me too much”, is a typical one. Come play time thoughts of ‘what if’ pop up. What if she doesn’t want to say red, what if she can’t. I do trust littlegem but I know her self preservation is very poor and I do worry, maybe because I’m very personally involved. This isn’t just sexual, this is my wife that I love dearly.
Trust myself, trust littlegem, she will say when she wants to stop, so don’t listen to those voices that tell you to stop before it gets too good.
Continue to Have More Experiences
I have wanted to get away for a while now. We have two young children and it has been so much fun to spend all our time with them over Christmas and new year. But I need a break, we both do. Eroticon isn’t far away but that is hardly the rest and relaxation we’re looking for. What I need is something Ruby. Fun activities to recharge the batteries.
Littlegem knows some of the things I have in mind. I’ll be taking her to the cinema to see a film, complete with all the childish snacks you can get while watching a film. We haven’t been for years so it’s amazing how much time for little things like this matter.
But going away excites me. I use my time to look at places to go with the considerations. Somewhere far enough away to be called a ‘trip away’, yet not so far that we spend almost all of the time travelling and not doing fun things. Littlegem gets bored very easy in the car and there is only so much entertainment I can provide while driving. I used to make an activity book for her to complete in the car, maybe I’ll have to come up with something similar.
Next I need a location that is suitable for our needs. Littlegem loves child like activities so I look through all the nearby attractions. Once I find something I like it’s time to find appropriate accommodation.
We are creatures of habit, finding comfort in chain hotels. We have found local B&B’s rather awkward because it feels like you’ve come to have sex in a strangers house. At least with a chain you know where you stand so I can think of entertainment.
I think back to the time we did a prostitute / client role play, taking her back to ‘my hotel room’. I want to come up with something exciting. Too long have I been bound by worrying about the children’s bedtime and being somewhat quiet. It puts me off as it can be so difficult to change the mindset to sexy.
There will also be time for one of my favourite activities, taking photos. I notice that littlegem has been looking at some pieces to wear of recent, so I’m looking forward to having her model for me. I’ll have to think of all the ways I’ll want her positioned for me. It genuinely does excite me, taking the photos, reviewing the shots, picking the best and then editing them.
It’s amazing how much this has changed my mood. It’s been the kick I need to get this year going. I can plan routes and timetable activities because that’s the kind of fun I’m into when I have the time. I really hope this will make for an enjoyable experience for littlegem’s birthday.