Mindset of Sexual Denial

Mindset of Sexual Denial

I think it’s best if you don’t have an orgasm for a while.

We’re having our weekly chat and I’m outlining my intentions for the next couple of weeks. There is good reason behind what I’m saying, it’s all to do with littlegem’s mindset over the Christmas period.

4 weeks prior littlegem was at the same stage of her menstrual cycle, post ovulation and pre period. Her hormones had made noticeable changes to the way she challenged my dominance and our dynamic just wasn’t working how it should as I was unable to take control.

I actually bought the topic up with PS as I could feel my attitude had slipped and I was beginning to push a bit too far with it. It’s not that I was deliberately trying to push it, my mood had changed so I had become more negative and irritable, a very much less submissive mindset. I was challenging the control PS was trying to exert over me, the control I have asked for and want. When I bought it up with PS and explained that I think it’s a similar pattern every month, I could tell from his expression that although the penny had just dropped for me, this was common knowledge to him.  

Having already not had an orgasm for around a week, the decision to actively continue denial was to increase her feelings of submission. Almost experimental, but we have previously noticed that denial increases submission for littlegem. I’d rather have this control as a way of combating the way she can feel. Of course there are other considerations when it comes to emotional well being, but we both agreed it would be good for both of us, albeit begrudgingly for littlegem.

Day 1

The fact that I had vocalised my intention to deny littlegem seemed to set something off in her mind. She now knew that any sexual play would result in no orgasms. Regardless we had sex, we both found connection from it and it ended with me feeding her my cum.

Day 2

The effects of denial have set in, littlegem takes very little to get her going. It feels good that it doesn’t take much for her to be wet for me. I expect this night to be similar to the last, with no time for a full on scene during this time we have sex again. But littlegem requests we do anal, I’m happy to oblige. It’s deep and passionate, we have found missionary to be good position for anal. Lifting her legs allows me to bury my cock in her. She wants to cum, but I don’t let her.

Day 3

In the middle of the day littlegem is horny. I give her instructions. She is to go upstairs and play with herself. She has permission to squirt as much as she can, but is not to orgasm. I am looking after our children so can’t see what see what she is doing. Therefore she is to film herself for my enjoyment later. She complies excellently, and the footage is very enjoyable.  

This was a really difficult task and not for the reasons you are probably thinking. I really enjoy being filmed and have got quite comfortable being in front of the camera. But I was very turned on and I knew that I would find it hard to stop touching myself once started. I have written before that I can get a bit greedy with orgasms, especially when on my own so not being allowed to come at all was going to be hard. 

Spreading my legs at the edge of the bed, I got into position. I tried to start off slow but my body felt like it was more than ready, also I had a clear idea of what I wanted to try. This was just adding fuel to my fire. With the posts on fisting recently for Kink of the Week, the idea of trying to fist myself had been floating in my head. Imagining how it would feel to be both the giver and receiver to such immense and filling pleasure… It feels pretty damn good.     

It may be the denial, it may be the watching of littlegem playing with herself but we found ourselves having anal sex again that night. A previous chat of ours outlined that anal play of any kind should have a 48 hour gap in between (for littlegem’s comfort), but that went out of the window. 

I’ve had an orgasm everyday for a while now, littlegem has not and is feeling extra sensitive to the slightest touch. That makes anal sex very intense. As I’m about to thrust deeply into her, she looks at me with her wanton eyes. I can’t go too fast as the anal alone will make her cum. 

Knowing that a touch between her legs and a meeting of our eyes will awaken her at any time brings me a lot of joy. After all the denial only works if I’m actively toying with her, otherwise I’m just neglecting her feelings. 

Day 4 (Christmas Day) 

We have a busy day, opening presents, seeing people, eating. There is little time in the evening for ourselves. I do find time to get on top of her and press myself against her. Instantly she reacts, even though its late and we are both tired. Lifting her legs up the tip of my cock brushes against her. I can feel her moving her hips eagerly towards me once more, a brush then becomes a press. Then before we know it we are having anal, again! This is the third day in a row and it feels so good. Littlegem is desperate to cum now. In the heat of intense sex, I eventually allow her to orgasm.

My body feels in a heightened sexual state. The feel and texture of his hard cock inside, the slightest movement of his hips, his scent and heat. Everything feels magnified. My sensors are being overloaded with this pleasure he is giving. My body is shaking, I feel on the edge of an orgasm and he has barely moved. First I asked if he could slow down, but when he does it is to no avail. I feel like my body is going to burst, between moan I begged for him to just let me orgasm. Plead that he will end this delicious frustration. 

Day 5

Boxing Day is another busy day for family. By evening time we are both done and we go to bed to go to sleep, no sexy time, nope nothing at all. 

2am That Evening..

Daddy, can we have sex?”

Wake me up in the middle of the night and I will be confused, a little sleepy but horny. It won’t be long until I’m on board with what she wants. It was quite nice that she spooned me and touched my cock. 

It seems that letting her orgasm hasn’t lessened her appetite for sex. This time it’s vaginal sex, a refreshing change. It’s not long before we’ve had a satisfying session, at least for me, and drifting off back to sleep. Although I’m starting to feel a little sore from all the action I’ve had, not the worst problem in the world. 

How Does the Mindset Change? 

There is a huge difference to littlegem during prolonged denial, you know when she is desperate for an orgasm. She becomes needy and attentive. She is much more receptive to touch, becoming instantly wet. This means I have much more confidence to use my words to make her squirt and humiliate her. If I tell her how much she wants something, like some naughty anal, it’s usually because that’s exactly what she wants. It is only reasonable to let her orgasm from time to time, it is my control that allows it, although gem is very convincing in her ‘need’ to orgasm. 

Being denied not only puts me in an although frustrating at times, heightened state sexually. Which in itself is very enjoyable for me and of course PS too. It also seems to balance me and therefore helps to retain my submissive mindset. I find it very hard to be actively submissive, needing to feel PS’s control over me to help me with my submission. Denial for me is an act of his control and dominance over me. He is deciding my orgasm fate, something I find incredibly valuable to us as a couple and our power exchange. 

The only problem is it needs to be upheld to work for my mindset. It’s a really hard balance to find as of course I want to orgasm and I will use any method to try and convince PS that he should let me. The problem is if he lets me because of my convincing it can feel as if I have won. I can be a bit devious at times and try to wriggle my way to getting what I want. PS needs to ultimately be the one who is deciding and assert himself for it to be most effective. Not an easy task when your wriggly horny wife is gasping at how much she needs to orgasm, just right now because your hard cock just feels too good. Don’t you think?  


11 Replies to “Mindset of Sexual Denial

  1. It’s interesting to see how this works for you, and I can imagine that it would have a similar effect on me if MrH did the same thing.

    Sweetgirl x

  2. Very interesting to read! Seems like a potential good ‘solution,’ so to say, to deny orgasms as it then becomes a constant reminder of the control you exert.
    Also I love that we get both of your views in the same post.

  3. I love how you share both perspectives! Orgasm denial seems like it would be difficult, but I can see how it helps. Gives me something to think about.

  4. I can see how orgasm control works to maintain mindset but also how it can be difficult to strike a balance where it is effective. Great post 🙂

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