We had a really good week recently. Every week when we sit down and discuss the last 7 days we usually discuss what could be improved and plan how we can encourage each other. But it wasn’t needn’t, it was a celebration of feeling in the right place, despite some outside factors. We took it on together and came out with our dominant and submissive feelings still strong. Littlegem was more attentive to my needs, emotional and sexual, as she wanted to be and I felt more on top when it came to giving control.
Oh how much can change in a week.
It’s strange because there is no particular reason. Usually it isn’t just one thing, more of a combination of small issues that can have a knock on effect. What I’m talking about is after a long day at work, or looking after the children, you’ve been rushed off your feet. So much so that when it gets to the evening time you sit down and reflect. Evening time is play time, but you can’t force it, not if the mood isn’t there.
It can be so difficult to change that state of mind, to switch off all those thoughts from the rest of the day. In evenings like these it’s all so easy to see the blanket and snuggle up. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy these evenings, I just don’t want to feel like a failure. Failure to get my Dom head on, failure to turn littlegem into a wanting submissive. I take the easy option by making her happy with a cuddle and a bowl of apple strudel.
Littlegem feels it too, she wants that spark to connect, that’s all we need to get started. But she feels tired, we both do. There is no shame in not being kinky even when an opportunity allows it. It shouldn’t be forced because what’s more important is that you feel connected. That’s how last week felt, it wasn’t a bad week, it just wasn’t the super sexy week that we had previous.
Planning a Scene
In an attempt to turn the tide I thought I would use a role play. It was a role play I had written up a while ago but never got round to using.
Littlegem was to be a sex doll, not one of those blow up ones, a futuristic high tech one with functions and commands, inspired by a character from Rick & Morty. Effectively this would be a high protocol scene, she is not to talk and would follow all instructions. My character would then ‘unbox’ her and follow the instructions from the factory that made her. Starting with an inspection of her body, to make sure she had been made to the specifications that he desired. He would then test out the functions by positioning her and giving voice commands. Once happy, he would use in any way he saw fit. He would fuck her and use her for his own pleasure. Once finished he would clean her up so that she would be ready to be used again.
So that was the plan, a script was written on my phone as an ‘online manual’ to help me remember all of the functions. I was feeling good about it during the day. Littlegem had been given a couple of days to ready herself. I had asked her to dress in a certain way to fit the scene, red lipstick, lingerie etc.
But by the time I had got home, had dinner, bathed the children and put them to bed the mood had changed. There we both were sitting on the sofa, it was a Friday, the end of an exhausting week. It just wasn’t going to happen it felt so disappointing. The only consolation being that we both felt the same, no one party was letting down the other.
Having children is probably the biggest obstacle in our dynamic. Changing from parent with responsibilities to sexy isn’t easy. Having children is a joy greater than our D/s and we try our best to balance these two life choices but sometimes you just have to accept that things simply won’t go to plan. There is always another time when we can work on it and improve.
The Plan is not Lost
Since littlegem knew most of my plan we have discussed what it is about she likes and what wouldn’t work for her. We have had sex a few times recently where I have used her for my own pleasure. This way she is denied and kept in a higher submissive state, knowing that is up to me to decide when she will. It feels great knowing that she wants me to enjoy her, no guilt. For my part to remind her that she is horny more often with a kiss on the neck and a whisper in her ear. She is mine and she doesn’t need a full on kinky scene to know that.