Fantasy and Me

Fantasy and Me

I’m not really one for fantasy, sorry. Not a great start to a post on fantasies I know. I don’t really read that much or get into fanciful television or film. What I like is reality and cold hard facts. It’s no wonder that one of my favourite programmes is ‘How it’s Made‘. Much of this blog is real life experiences and feelings and while I have had a go at erotic writing it has either been tongue in cheek or downright silly

Most of the research for the play we do is based on a mix of reading blogs and creating a scene from my own imagination. The ideas come the information littlegem has given me during one of our many chats. Humiliation, especially making her squirm from telling her the naughty fantasies she has told me being a key part. 

Telling her how much she enjoys using our large anal toy. The way she rides it, feeling all of the ridges slide in and out of her. It’s naughty and it’s dirty but we both know that she loves it. Sometimes she’ll play with it and not mention that she used it to masturbate, wanting to shy away, but I know. 

Role play 

Role play is fantasy and I am happy to indulge in this kind of play. At its core it is fun and playful and does require a bit of planning. But I enjoy that part too, trying to make a scene fit together that has that mix of humiliation and breaking new kinky ground in a way that matches what we’re doing. 

Related Post: If you want to read more about planning a role play read ‘The Role I Play

The Fantasy of Playing with Others

We have been in a monogamous relationship for over 11 years now. We know each other very well and have explored many of our fantasies together. There is a fantasy however that I cannot replicate. 

Littlegem is bisexual, probably one of the worst kept secrets we have. I have asked her before whether she felt ‘finished’ when it came to exploring with other women sexually. The answer was no, she does have some experiences but since starting D/s there has been an increase in curiosity. 

Playing with women can form part of the fantasy when I’m playing with her. I’ll tell her to imagine if it wasn’t my hands that were playing with her, it’s the hands of another. Teasing and playing, maybe littlegem would touch her too, feel her breasts and press herself close to her. 

There are other scenarios too, being a submissive littlegem is open to someone else topping her. Of course trust and consent would need to be present but it doesn’t stop painting the picture of the fantasy. 

Where I Stand

When I got married to littlegem I did so because I was happy to spend the rest of my life with her and only her. In many ways not a lot has changed. Despite the opportunity to explore a poly lifestyle I would be more than happy to continue only being sexual with littlegem. She is someone who makes me feel most comfortable and satisfies my needs. I am fortunate to have that. 

There are instances however when I could see a poly lifestyle working for us. I would love it if we had a playmate or couple to explore kink with. To be frank it would be nice to have more people to talk with openly about all the sexual things we get up to without judgement. Someone whom we can share our love of taking photographs, our DD/lg side as well as the other aspects of our dynamic. 

There is a play side that interests me though. Littlegem tells me that she would like to watch me be involved with others, seeing another person sucking my cock for example. It wasn’t something I’d thought about but that discussion did set my mind thinking. In the same way I like to see her denied, I can imagine her neediness growing from viewing my pleasure from the sidelines. Then my mind races, the thought of her being the vessel of everybody’s pleasure, exposed and humiliated. Its then I realise I need to calm down a little. 

Fantasy Better Than the Reality? 

We’re still early stages and this isn’t something we plan to rush into. It doesn’t stop the fantasy though does it? A day of sexy picture taking, an evening of sexual play and cuddle afterwards as we all sit down on the sofa and watch How it’s Made.



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26 Replies to “Fantasy and Me

  1. Life, marriage, and D/s are all so complicated. I wan only offer the advice: advance slowly…because you can never go back.

    BTW…I think I’ve seen every episode of How It’s Made!

  2. Can I say again how much I love that photo, it is very thought-provoking :p I think what you two have together is freakin’ awesome, but I can identify with that feeling of not being ‘finished’ when it comes to aspects of your sexuality. And I’m sure should the time come that you are ready to play with others, I suspect you won’t have to look far, I said I needed to find friends for photography adventures on Twitter the other day and got a bunch of volunteers. I suspect you’d receive the same response for blowjob assistance too =D Which is complimentary even if not the way you’d like to obtain new play partners, lol x

    1. Thanks, it’s an old photo really that we re-edited, I had a more complex photo idea in mind but just wanted to have a relaxing evening instead. I’m glad it was, as you say, thought provoking ?. Well I can imagine you getting plenty of volunteers, I would too if I could.

  3. You certainly have lots of tine to explore some of those fantasies and sometimes they will work out and sometimes not. But you’ll have lots of fun working that out. Great post PS xx

  4. I think it’s important that all of us always have something to fantasize about, even if we live out lots of our fantasies. And sometimes, even if you have actually done something which once was a fantasy, it’s still great to fantasize about it 😉

    Rebel xox

  5. Me personally I enjoy having fantasies than I don’t try because it gives me something to enjoy just for me. Not sure that makes sense but I enjoy they are just mine x

  6. It’s a very interesting subject. We had a similar, albeit tamer, conversation on Sunday evening. I wonder if this is a fantasy common to all D/s relationships: Is there something about the power play that encourages it, do you think? Or ought I simply to have been more adventurous at uni?!

    1. It’s something I’ve never done so I think it is a fantasy from my curiosity. But I think you’re right about the theme of power play making it sexy. My uni days were very tame.

  7. Others do feature prominently in our fantasies but I don’t think those fantasies will be enacted at any time soon. Still they work for both of us. …and you never truly know! lol

  8. I love the way that you are influencing each other and the fantasies that you have. I think being open about what you fantasies about can create a whole new world which might have been closed off before. Great post which has generated lots of discussion ?

    1. Thanks missy ?, we wrote our two posts separately but it’s strange how similar the fantasies we have are. Maybe we hang around with each other too much.

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