Training my Submissive

Training my Submissive

When a world of kink is opened up there is frenzy in which you may want to try all the kink you can, or at least that which you always wanted to try. A lot of this can fall by the wayside as you find what works for you and what doesn’t. There are rituals and routines that manage your dynamic and that changes as time goes by as you work out what is best for your relationship. Training then brings out what you want most. 

Training and Management

One of the best things that works for us is a spreadsheet that I use to organise littlegem’s everyday life. It also is used for training her to be the submissive that suits both of us in a lifestyle that contains other considerations, namely looking after our two children. 

The spreadsheet has a multitude of benefits:

Behaviour Tracking

Littlegem’s household tasks are listed each week. With the spreadsheet on a shared drive I can always see what she has been up to. This may sound a bit paranoid but it’s aim is to keep on top of her activity. Telling her to take a break if she has done enough for that day. Littlegem earns a point for each task she does successfully, but there is a maximum number of times she can do it. There are only so many times a bathroom should be cleaned in a week. 

The spreadsheet is filled out in rainbow colours, each colour representing each day of the week. When it’s filled out at the end of the week it’s very colourful, something littlegem likes. 

Encouraging Good Submissive Behaviour

The main purpose is to encourage good submissive behaviour. I have identified what it is that I look for in littlegem’s submission and she is rewarded with points for doing so. The points are then spent on things she likes. This week she bought some bath bombs and a belly bar. Since she is a stay at home mum there isn’t really any money for her to spend of her own. This makes it a bonus when I get things for her as there is a sense of achievement from earning it. 

It may be a bit traditional in the way our dynamic works, I go to work and she looks after the children and gets an allowance (of sorts). But its what we both want. Although it is about me training her to submit in the way I want her to, it is based on her wanting to be that submissive person. 

Consequences of Bad Behaviour 

One of the rituals that I would like littlegem to uphold is kneeling. She kneels in the evening before play and at the foot of the bed before we sleep. 

However she got into the habit of falling asleep on me downstairs, either after play or just being tired. By the time it was bedtime I would have to wake her. Being drowsy and a bit grumpy she would want to just go straight to bed and I would allow it. At her direction during a recent review I have got more stern and I have reminded her that there are consequences for not behaving submissively. Through this she learns how I want her to submit to me. 

Exercise Training

Everyday at 4pm I ask littlegem if she has done her daily exercise. She has asked me to keep on top of it so she can keep toned. It’s not for my sake, I’m much less bothered by how much she weighs than she does. But keeping on top of it makes her happier than if she wasn’t to do it. After all we take a lot of photos and it’s important that she feels comfortable in the way she wants. 

Oral and Anal Training 

Littlegem is rewarded for her oral and anal training. Currently this is quite informal and based on how often she has cock & toys in her mouth / arse. There are bonuses she can earn, such as asking if we can have anal sex or have me cum on her face. All of this is inputted into the spreadsheet and points mean prizes. 

Puppy Training

A very literal training part of dynamic is when littlegem becomes puppy, her pet persona. Puppy is playful and a bit cheeky. My role is to keep it fun whilst maintaining control. There are a few commands that puppy will obey just like any other dog; sit, lay down, roll over etc. Whenever we start pet play I normally would have puppy on a leash and go through some commands to establish dominance. 

But puppy also wants to play as a large part of it is allowing her to explore her pet space. She’ll want to play with her toys or be brushed so it’s important to teach actions to describe what she wants, because puppies can’t talk (that would be silly). Most of it is intuitive, brush in her mouth, nuzzling her bowl, putting her head on my lap and looking up at me with brown doey eyes. 

She does enjoy laying on my lap when I sit on the sofa, and once she has been given the command to come up she will bound up with enthusiasm. Her head lays in my lap and she enjoy me stroking her. This is usually when she will want to please her master, sniffing and burying her head into my crotch. By this time I will most probably be rock hard so will allow her to continue. 

Unlike littlegem in her usual self, puppy hasn’t had oral training or received any guidance. Since she’s a puppy she doesn’t give a blowjob (that would be silly), instead she licks. However she has perfected a technique where she pins my cock down with a ‘paw’ and licks in a way I like. So much so that she is able to make me cum just from licking which took me by surprise first time she did it. She received a lot of ‘good girls’ for that. 

When play is over and she wants to return to her usual self she will position herself in the way she’s been taught. Her dog collar is removed and her day collar replaces it. 

The future

I’m always looking for new ways to increase littlegem’s submission. Some ideas are based on having an ideal situation where there are no other life considerations. Others will require more formal training. What is important is that we both work together a dynamic that we both benefit from.  

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16 Replies to “Training my Submissive

  1. I really like colourful spreadsheets but I’ve never quite thought they had a part to play in relation to sex – until now! Great post

  2. This is great PS, and takes a lot of commitment on both sides. Just a thought – Do you think that both of you are learning / training rather than it just being about little gem?

  3. Great post. I must say, I could do with a reward system to clean the bathroom – I bloody hate doing it, but with the right incentive, maybe that would change!!

  4. i too love a good spreadsheet. this is an impressively rigorous training program and it sounds like you communicate very well about what you both need from it!

  5. This is so interesting PS and it sounds like you are really on the ball with the things you can do to encourage gem’s submission to you. I really liked that fact that you included so many areas here to show how the little things add up into the whole relationship. Thank you for sharing – this is a great insight. 🙂

  6. We were inspired by your spreadsheet idea when we first came across it in an earlier post. Unfortunately that was more complicated than Ma’am wanted to keep up with. We found a chore/points/privilege app for your phone and put the same concept to work there. It’s working great for us and keeps strong oversight of expectations and rituals…and rewards!

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