If you’d asked me before D/s how important an orgasm for both of us, I would say very important. I would consider any sexual exchange a failure if littlegem didn’t orgasm. Its funny how things change. A major part of the control that I have over littlegem is when or indeed if she can come. Recently she wrote that being denied for short periods increases her submission, although it was me that theorised and tested this.
It’s difficult to measure how submissive someone is quantitatively, however I do find that littlegem was more inclined to break or bend the rules. However with children being in the house any action would need to be delayed until we were alone. By this time last week there were multiple discrepancies.
Creating a Balance
A punishment should fit the crime but when a series of small crimes are committed how am I to rectify this balance? What came from this was a decision to implement a consequence system. Its important to state that this means that it isn’t a punishment. My Dominance is intended to steer littlegem on the right path of her submission rather than force her. Encouragement of the right behaviours and a reminder of the consequence of unwanted behaviour. With this in mind a consequence was messaged to her whilst I was at work.
“For your remaining consequence I’m not going to deny you, however for your next orgasm you’re not allowed to use your clit”.
There is some thought behind this. Almost all of the orgasm that littlegem have are aided by clitoral stimulation. As we explore our D/s what you find is how important other factors are to pleasure. The words you use, the humiliation, the pleasure that comes from something naughty or taboo.
With that in mind the idea is to explore littlegem’s body. To find out what happens when a major part of her pleasure is removed. It was important to state that this wasn’t denial, not in the usual sense. Knowing that it would be a challenge I expected her to struggle to begin with, wondering how that ache and need to orgasm would change her.
Also when I’d usually deny her, at a point where she was so close, she wouldn’t be happy. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a grown up woman throwing a tantrum, kicking her legs and sulking. Afterwards she understands, but in that moment I would be lying if I didn’t feel a little guilty, although there is a smile in the back of my head from her neediness taking over her.
The Consequence Begins
We had sex. It was in our bed and it was fairly casual. We accept that if it’s the morning that anything sexual could be interrupted at any point. However this time it wasn’t. It was enjoyable and although she was close to orgasm it simply wasn’t enough.
Having spoken about it afterwards littlegem was keen to have more attention paid to her nipples. This would have to be done at a slow pace as I forgot that she gave up breastfeeding our youngest early this year. It’s still a sensitive area and needs to be approached with caution.
The following day we had sex again, with a lot of focus on her skin, touching tentatively around before playing with her breasts. Touching, sucking, tugging ever so slightly, we got lost in the moment for a short while and it looked like we were going in the right direction. It was at this point that our 3 year old daughter burst in saying she needed a wee. With passion killed, the abrupt stop meant that littlegem would have to wait even longer.
Littlegem is feeling more needy now. She is concerned that it won’t happen. She jokes that it could be months, I think she’s trying to make me go soft on her. It’s not impossible, I know it’s not, I’ve used my words before to tip her over the edge. Also I’ve seen her masturbate for me and orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So in some ways it’s about me and my control over her more than anything else.
The next time we have sex we start as usual, some playful touching, drawing my fingers over her body. Her back arches as she enjoys the attention I’m giving her. It’s not long before I’m on top of her, her wetness allowing penetration easily. I’m also touching her nipples, circling the areola, occasionally brushing to nipples themselves.
Playing with littlegem’s breasts can be a bit of a minefield. What works one time doesn’t necessarily work the next. What she wants changes and because I don’t know exactly what she’s feeling there need to be communication and compromise. It’s not unusual to direct her to play with them herself, especially as I’m holding my own weight during sex.
She takes over and the groans return. She looks lost in the pleasure of my thrusts and the pulls and twists of her own nipples. She then makes a request.
“Can you put your cock in my arse?”
Littlegem is encouraged to ask for anal and gets rewarded for doing so. Withdrawing and reaching over to apply some handily placed lube we’re ready to continue. We’ve been having sex in the missionary position, a bit vanilla but a classic. Anal continues in the same fashion, the dominance of being on top, coupled with her needing to raise her legs is a good mix for me. Gem’s experience with anal means that no warm up is required, helped by the control I have in that moment. I guide the tip in as I watch as her eyes roll back as slowly I penetrate her arse. Her hands return to her nipples, the movements have become exaggerated.
With my cock deep enough inside I can lean over her and place my hands either side of her. I can watch her enjoyment as it slides ever more into her. My hips reach the skin of her bottom, I tell her what that means, of how much cock she is greedily taking. She loves to know how deep inside I am and I love to tell her. Before long I’ve buried my cock all the way inside and am thrusting increasingly more vigorously, she moans and arches in that familiar way.
“I’m going to cum”
Usually she would be counted down to orgasm, but we had agreed that if she was able to that she would take the orgasm. Her exclamation was more of a direction for me to continue forcefully fucking her in the arse while she pulls on her nipples like the ropes to church bells.
Then it happens, she orgasms, the contraction of her muscles squeezing the base of my cock dipping me over the edge. She feels the throbbing of my cock filling her with a series of pulses.
We’d done it! Both of us satisfied with ourselves. Littlegem later said that although the orgasm was really enjoyable however it would be better blended with clitoral stimulation.
The point of this was to challenge how pleasure is given and received. It made me think more about what her body needs, concentrating on the parts of her that I wouldn’t usually. In doing so we learn more about each other, the pleasure that comes from intimacy regardless of orgasm.
If you asked me now how important orgasm is within our dynamic I would say what was more important was taking the time to explore each others personal pleasures. An orgasm under my control is that extra bit on top.