Denying Orgasm: Secret to Increasing Submission

Denying Orgasm- littlegem kissing the tip of PurpleSole's erect penis

Short bursts of denying orgasm

For the last few months PurpleSole has been denying me orgasm for roughly about a week at a time, sometimes slightly longer. He has a theory that whilst I am not allowed to orgasm and been kept on the edge of wanting, I become more submissive. I will tell you a secret, I think he is right. It is not that I don’t enjoy being denied, because I really do. We have shared our experiences with me being denied for a month in a previous post and the climax from it. I enjoy the feeling of being under PS’s control, the heightened state of arousal it brings and the intense final orgasm. It’s just the point right before I want to orgasm and I am told ‘No, not today,’ that really pisses me off.

I never know when I will be allowed to orgasm, it is entirely up to PS. He has also changed the way in which I am corrected recently, for any unwanted behaviour or slips in things I should be doing. Before PS has used spanking as a reminder, but instead spanking has become more regular as a use of a reset each week. So now I am given a ‘consequence’ and on my schedule for the week (which now looks a lot different from when it was first written) I have how I can take the consequences away. 

So for example, eating before PS will earn me a consequence and I can ask to give PS a blowjob to take it away. It’s a way of redeeming myself In PS’s eyes for doing something that we have agreed I wouldn’t. We decided early on in our D/s that punishments were not something we would use as most the time the things I do wrong are by pure accident, I forget myself when my mind is full. Another way the consequence can be taken away is by PS denying me an orgasm.  

Dirty talk, secret fantasies and orgasm denying

After an evening of talking on the SWC chat PS and I had gone to bed discussing some of the conversation we had had online. One being about clone a penis kits. At this point I had been denied orgasm for a few days and was feeling that familiar tingle of being turned on but not quenched. 

My hands started to wander over to PS’s cock as the conversation carried on and I decided I would be a bit naughty. Using dirty talk and the idea of someone else sucking his cock.

“Do you think you would like to see someone else’s mouth around your cock Master, sucking you?” No answer was heard but his cock jumped into life in my hand. I continued whispering my dirty thoughts into his ear, stroking him along to the words. 

He let me continue this way, weaving a fanciful vision for him. His cock being worshipped by me and another woman. Until he decided to turn the tables on me. He took back the control and twisted the words I had spoken in a different direction. Then suddenly he was upon me, his face close to my ear. Continuing his tale as he took me. 

For me, words are so powerful in fuelling my desires. Especially when those secret naughty ideas that he knows I have are being said back to me, teasing me with my own dirty thoughts that I think I shouldn’t be having. 

As I got close to orgasm, PS got close to my ear once more, “You are now consequence free but that means no orgasm for you this time.” I pouted at him in response but it was quickly forgotten as he continued to drive himself inside me until his pinnacle.

Needle play- a bit of a blow

Needle play is something that I have wanted to try for a while. With any new kink it is up to PS when he feels I (and himself) are ready to do it and he will decide how it will happen. 

I received a message during the day from PS saying that he would like to try some needle play in the evening. Although I was really excited to be able to try it, I was a bit nervous. As it is something completely new for me there was a massive chance I wouldn’t like it. When PS got home he wasn’t in the best mood so after putting the kids to bed I thought I would cheer him up.

What started off as some light cock worship ended up being a full on sucking with prostate stimulation. PS was very relaxed and in a much better mood afterwards. Then it was time for the needle play. I couldn’t quite get relaxed enough and was a bit too jumpy for it to go forwards. So PS decided that we would stop for the evening and try again another time. Although it didn’t work out this time and may not in the future, I was still happy that we had connected and tried something new.

Getting a bit wanton

I won’t go into too many details but at the end of the working week PS decided he would let me climax as I had been such a good girl YAY. The build up of playing and not having a release made for a really really strong orgasm… So much so that PS put his hand over my mouth in a failed attempt to muffle my screaming. 

The problem was after I had been allowed one orgasm, I got greedy. No matter how strong the orgasm was I just didn’t feel spent. Each time was amazing, but no sooner had I caught my breath the ‘itch’ was back. The next few days were spent by me (and ruby) hinting for more at any given opportunity. PS decided to allow me more orgasms but I am sure it won’t be long until he is denying me an orgasm once again.

Denying orgasm makes for a better sub?

Not for everyone I am sure, but for me it seems to be a way of keeping me in my mindset longer. I am quite a sexually driven person so I think this helps it be effective for me. The biggest problem I have is being able to switch from Mother into submissive. With my children I am in charge, the house I run and maintain all day by myself. To suddenly go from this to submissive the minute PS gets through the door, is really hard. We don’t just fill our roles as Dom and sub in the bedroom, it is a lifestyle we live day and night. It is a power exchange that we both want and agree to live by. But like any relationship it takes work to maintain.

Throughout the week unknown to me I was actively submitting to PS and trying to please him. This is always something that I had wanted to do but found it difficult to actually carry out. It is not that I don’t know what PS wants, me bringing him a drink and asking to suck his cock pretty much covers it. I just didn’t ever seem to think to do it at the time, or it never seemed to be the right time. Either way, during the week of being denied it wasn’t something I had to think about doing, I just did it. Better still I wanted and enjoyed doing it.

PS denying me orgasm is another way that I am reminded he is in charge. I have written before about how orgasms although were plentiful, were in my control before D/s so PS taking the control out of my hands was a big step for me in our power exchange. So I guess for us it was the next step, not just PS controlling when I would have an orgasm but if I would as well.

Masturbation Monday


29 Replies to “Denying Orgasm: Secret to Increasing Submission

  1. This was such an interesting post and I really enjoyed finding out more about the ways you use orgasm denial. I found the description of the fantasy really hot and I am with you on words being sexy 🙂

  2. That’s a marvelous secret littlegem and I agree! I keep pet in denial as he is much more submissive when he hasn’t had an orgasm. Granted men act a bit differently after orgasm than women but the idea behind it works wonders!

    1. Yes I do find it interesting to compare male and female denial as our bodies do act slightly differently, although perhaps its less of the body and more the type of mind that it works best on.

  3. Thank you for sharing with us for this week’s F4T, especially with that gorgeous image to accompany it! I can totally see where you’re coming from with this post too and I’ve got to be honest the whole thing sounds incredibly sexy! I’m not really a fan of punishments as such, but consequences, I absolutely can get on board with that approach. Fabulous post as always x

    1. Thanks Floss, I think it’s possibly my first time joining in with F4F although PS has done a few times in the past! Yeah the consequences works well for me as I like to be reminded and corrected but the language of punishment gives it the wrong tone, for me anyway. For me it’s all about the words, even if the actions probably look very similar to others!

  4. Great post – I am sure my man would like me more wanton – i may show him this article – and as to the image – PS what can I say but PG is a lucky lady lol

  5. Really glad I read this post. I’m glad it works for you. I suspect how your relationship works has a lot to do with it. For someone without a D/s relationship, but who is searching for the D part, regular masturbation gets me through day (or week or month). I can only imagine the strength it gives your relationship.

    1. Thank you, really happy you enjoyed! Yes I think without the trust we have and knowing that PS always has my pleasure, thoughts and feelings in his decisions really helps.

  6. I was a long time skeptic of orgasm control. The idea of it seemed silly and unnecessary. My husband never required it so that was that. Then I made the “mistake” of asking my husband about trying it. We are running out of things to explore! hee hee. So we did. OMG! It’s been amazing. I could go on and one about it (and will likely post about it myself eventually). But in simplest terms it about something you mentioned — it’s a reminder that he is in charge. Giving him that control is such a turn on for my submissive spot that it makes it easier to tolerate being on edge and denied for so long. I encourage every couple to at least try it!

    1. I’m glad that orgasm control works for you too. I think it’s always worth giving things a try, you never know what might become a new kink! ??

  7. I share your love and hate for orgasm denial gem. It seems to have the same effect on me. I love the loss of control, the reminder of her dominance, and the constant state of arousal that comes from it. Great post!

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed your denial experience too, is it something that HQ is going to continue for you? It’s so hard to articulate how you can love and hate something so strongly lol!

  8. Being able to read someone’s detailed and honest thoughts about being denied pleasure is such a powerful thing. I enjoyed this on a number of levels.

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