I really like anal sex. Littlegem really likes it too. Putting my cock in her arse does well to feed our Dominant and submissive feelings. As it stands currently I control the warm up anal play, insertion of toys etc. It is up to littlegem to consent before full anal sex happens. But when she does there is nothing sexier when she asks (or beg) for anal and I am almost always compliant to her request.
Littlegem is much more experienced in all things anal than I, there is a multitude of glass dildos, metal butt plugs, tails etc to enhance her pleasure during play. As our dynamic has evolved I have considered my own feelings when it comes to anal pleasure.
Why Is That?
There is no reason I shouldn’t, my butt is just like hers, except there is a prostate gland in mine. This opens up the opportunity for the fun times.
Most of the play we do currently involving anal has some element of humiliation. It could be an inspection of littlegem in which all of her holes must be fully checked. It could be about achieving double penetration, reminding her that it is one of her naughtiest fantasies.
I personally have no desire for humiliation. There is a vulnerability that comes from the acts around anal, maybe from the taboo, despite it becoming more common in vanilla relationships. I also find it somewhat self indulgent to come up with play that is based on me, anal or not. This is not to say it hasn’t happened before.
The Happy Ending
A while ago I came up with a role play. It was based on a businessman visiting a masseuse after a long week doing business stuff. The intention being that this was a service style role play, which as it turns out isn’t the type of submissive gem is. Regardless it involved my character being stripped down and rubbed with oils. It was all above the belt to begin with and it was quite relaxing to have littlegem (who was Crystal the naughty masseuse) massage me. There was relaxing music and candles, I began to feel quite comfortable. Then her hands ran up my legs and those feelings changed. Soon her hands slipped over my cock and balls and it was really quite pleasurable. Then a finger slipped down, increasing the intensity, I wanted more. That finger soon found its way inside and my mind started to float away. Her other hand was still stroking my cock with a slippery oily hand.
I have no idea how long it lasted, all of the thoughts in my brain melted away. I couldn’t hear the music and I can’t remember what I saw. But I do remember the feeling it gave, most probably akin to subspace. The orgasm that finally resulted exploded out of me and I needed to lie down for a while afterwards.
So Why Don’t you do it again?
One of the main reasons that we do what we do is to take away control from littlegem. She is incredibly busy looking after our children and house. Our D/s dynamic takes away the control by limiting how much she does so that she doesn’t burn out. Left to her own devices she will run around the house cleaning, cooking and not resting until it has gone too far. The point is that in the evening when we have time to ourselves I don’t want to be giving her extra tasks, the role play mentioned before was almost 2 hours long. I would much rather it was me playing with her.
But there are other options available. There are butt plugs and other toys designed for males. These can be used in combination with our sex life. Gem has commented on how she enjoys how much harder I get with a toy up my arse, so maybe I should explore my feelings on all things anal more. This is especially so during the throes of passion when it feels more growly and primal. We have also tried having masturbation evenings where we play with ourselves and each other, no agenda, just pleasure.
Now I hate to generalise, but men like me tend to be excellent at self-stigmatising when it comes to considering the benefits of anal play. Using anal toys and exploring fantasies is nothing to be afraid of, in fact it’s to be embraced. It crosses the spectrum of sexuality and I see no reason why the dominant in the relationship cannot enjoy it too. Put simply isn’t anal play is for anyone who wishes to explore it?