This one was a bit tricky to write. Not because it brought up bad feelings, simply it is a difficult subject. It discusses sex with someone identifying as a child persona, littlegem as ruby. please consider this a content warning if applicable.
This month has sucked, there have been so many things that got in the way. Try as we might to ignore all that around us it has undoubtedly had an affect on our dynamic. One of the ways this manifests for littlegem is that ruby, her little persona, turns up unexpectedly. Feeling vulnerable she will want cuddles and to be looked after. This came to a head last week when we had an evening with a takeaway and a children’s film to relax. It was a chance to reset our feelings, ruby likes to be held and is it very intimate. It does put me in an odd head space, I am not just a Dom, I am Daddy. I look after ruby’s needs just like I would littlegem, but it is silly and fun.
More than intimate
It was then ruby’s bedtime, she is allowed to jump straight into bed and take off her panda pyjamas. We can then cuddle together, it’s warm and comfortable and there’s other feelings going on, sexy feelings.
This is where feelings can get confused. ruby acts and talks like a 7 year old girl, she likes being with Daddy and considers him a guiding influence. Obviously she isn’t really a 7 year old, but there is certainly a taboo about it, which in some ways adds to the appeal. We also have been in great need of a release which makes it even more intense.
When PurpleSole asked me if I wanted to write this post with him I originally planned to write as ruby. But at this point in time I just can’t. It doesn’t feel right yet to be her and write. I write as if she is a separate person, as for me she is… Sort of. I can imagine that is confusing for others to understand so I do apologise.
For me being ruby comes very naturally now. Sometimes I will just feel in a playful mood and she will come out or other times it is like she is triggered. Either way ruby enjoys the comfort and care that Daddy provides, ultimately him being the Daddy figure makes ruby feel small and secure.
When in bed all snuggled up together ruby feels this even more and likes to be lead by Daddy into more naughty activities. She will always act innocent as if she has no idea what Daddy has in mind. I know this sounds wrong, but for me the breaking of her innocence is really hot, Daddy having absolute power over her and leading her down a promiscuous path.
So when I reach down and squeeze ruby’s bottom she giggles and playfully asks “what are you doing Daddy?”
I ask her if she would enjoy a ‘special cuddle,’ usually replied with an excited “yes please!” we both know what it means. By this time a lubricated finger has found her way inside her arse, Ruby lets out a big moan. I ask her if she likes the feeling, because Ruby is an innocent little girl that wouldn’t have done any of this before. Even though my nails are short she says she can feel them.
“would you like something in you that isn’t sharp?”
“yes please Daddy.”
With that she is rolled onto her back and her legs are spread. When it comes to anal sex the only thing more important than lube is that your partner is ready. That is what I can see when I look down at her, weeks of brattish behaviour and trying to take control is gone. In that moment she has submitted, ready for me to take her in her tight hole. The tip of my cock pushes against her and I feel her give way to me easily.
As ruby, sexual acts all seem to feel completely like new. Perhaps this will change over time but for now it is like my body is in a heightened state. Every touch sends a tingling through my skin like it’s feeling these sensations for the first time. Ruby also is guided completely by Daddy as her knowledge of sex is nil, she will remain fresh and innocent no matter what has happened previously.
With ruby it feels different
We have had plenty of anal sex during our relationship, even before starting D/s. It’s a strange thing to describe as it’s an act we’ve done lots of times before, but the mindset gives it a fresh feeling. Ruby is being taught what is like to have sex and I use my words to keep her in her little space.
The feeling of his cock buried inside my arse is always a good one. But as ruby the feeling is more intense, every thrust feels like it is too much. That it can’t possibly all fit inside her. The pressure mounts and she squirts. A small relief from the fullness she was feeling. With this Daddy treats ruby differently from myself, she is small and fragile so he won’t use it to humiliate her as he would me. It’s not long until we both reach climax together, usually I would be able to have him inside me longer but with ruby’s heightened touch it ends more quickly.
So things are looking up. We are getting back to normal. This week we picked up littlegem’s Ruby ring after it broke. Wearing it is a reminder of her little side.