I think most of us had someone we inspired to be like when we were younger. Maybe a poster on the wall or these days a binge of music videos on YouTube. For me as a teenager I wanted to be like Brian Molko, lead singer of Placebo.
To save you time googling, Placebo are an alternative rock band from the 90’s, with a focus of sexuality, mental health and drug use.
One of a Kind
Their look was androgynous and their lyrics of teenage angst sat well with me. This meant growing my hair longer and throwing away the shackles of masculinity. If you are a very small child in both height and weight and are looking to fly under the radar of other schoolchildren, growing your hair is a big strategic error. Your sexuality and identity are challenged and I probably didn’t handle it well.
“The back of the class is where I was
Keeping quiet, playing dumb
Can’t you see these skies are breaking?
Cause the back of the class is where I’m from”
From One of a Kind by Placebo
I am one of a kind, what you read into that is up to you. It could mean that you are not like anyone else, an outsider. But it could mean that you offer something else that no-one else can. Over the years I accept my differences as a positive, I would love to go back and tell my former self that. It doesn’t matter who or what you are.
Our D/s lifestyle has allowed me to sink into those thoughts. Now I don’t see myself growing my hair long again, putting purple eye contacts in and wearing neon shoelaces. But for a while I have lived looking plain, not to stand out, not to be recognised. Maybe over time that will change.
Every Me, Every You
Music doesn’t play a role in our sexual activities directly. I find it a personal thing to me. It puts me in the right head space or comforts me when I need it. My role is to look after littlegem, and music helps me look after me when she isn’t around.
“Sucker love is heaven sent
You pucker up our passion’s spent
My heart’s a tart your body’s rent
My body’s broken, yours is spent
Carve your name into my arm
Instead of stressed I lie here charmed
‘Cause there’s nothing else to do
Every me and every you”
From Every Me, Every You by Placebo
Oh and if you’re wondering about the picture, it is a tribute to one of Placebo’s albums, Meds