1am on a weekday, the perfect time to go to the University library to breathe in the books. The hustle and bustle of frantic deadline studying replaced with silence, unadulterated silence.
Each floor was dark and as I made my way up the stairs to the level I needed the lights lit back up, the motion cameras disturbed by my presence. Making my way through the shelves, fingering the spines of the literature I may need, my arm begins to ache under the weight of all the books I have picked up.
My small tower is placed on a table against the window. If I was to stand up I would see the lights and sounds of the student bar. Groups of people drinking and having the sort of fun young people should do. But not I, I’m here and it’s quiet, the only voices I have are the ones in my head.
Skimming through the first book, not a gripping read but it has information that could prove useful, I feel a presence behind me. A flick of the lights behind me confirms that I am not alone.
The sound of footsteps draws nearer, ‘Urgh’ I think to myself, knowing that I’m probably going to have to talk to someone. Can’t I have this moment of pleasurable solitude, that isn’t masturbating, to myself.
“Need a study buddy?” it’s a female voice, which instantly takes me by surprise. Trying not to turn around too quickly our eyes meet. She is dressed in a very short dress and a white top that clearly has been purchased from a budget clothing store. I can tell because it has been decorated with felt pens, presumably she has been part of a group drinking outside. The sight of bright neon clearly not befitting a library. But she’s cute, her hair is long and brown, sweeping down over her chest. Then I realise I haven’t said anything, in a fluster I make a response.
“Err, yeah sure. You don’t look like you’re studying?”
“No, I’m not. I was downstairs and saw a light on in the library. I was getting a bit bored, I’m not really a drinker.”
The slight smell of herbal spirit seemed to provide evidence to the contrary. But I wasn’t going to argue it, I may seem a bit grumpy on the outside but having company like this is welcome relief. I really hope she isn’t disappointed that she’s found me here alone. Maybe she was hoping to find some secret party that would provide more excitement than at the bar. Yeah, she’ll probably be thinking why did she come here?
“No, me neither”, accompanied with a wry smile and a pat on the books.
“You look busy, do you always study at night?”
She’s beginning that small talk that makes me wonder if she wants to be here. Making the minimum necessary pleasantries before making an excuse and bailing. But I would like her to stay, these books aren’t going anywhere and I can always find another time to study.
“Yeah, quite often. I like how peaceful it is. I get more done when nobody is around.” Oh no I hope I haven’t implied that I don’t want her here. Quick think of something else.
“But I like that you turned up, makes me feel less lonely.”
Her face turned from concern to a smile, a cute grin that was intoxicating. She looked more relaxed now, maybe this isn’t going as badly as I thought it was. I’m still sitting down and she is standing up, I should offer her a seat, how rude of me not to say. But what if she doesn’t want to? She might think I’m a creep.
Standing up to offer her a seat she brings herself towards me, our breath can be felt on each other and her breasts press gently against my chest. We are dangerously within each others personal space, are we flirting, is this okay? This is how misunderstandings happen.
But within me I feel a fire raging, a swell of emotion that begins to translate into the swell of another kind. It is as if a switch has been flicked, nothing else matters now, my desires set.
Our noses brush gently, our heads tilt. In this moment the last of those anxious feelings dissipates. Lips draw closer and there is an electric feeling, the physical connection matched by an emotional one. The lids of my eyes fall, the final image is that of her reciprocating my approach. This is it, she does want this. Our senses heightened as finally we kiss.
I grab her by the hand, she doesn’t know where I’m leading her and I don’t really know what will happen. But I do know somewhere more discreet, between the bookshelves in the corner of the library. The books are seldom used and their age give a musky smell combined with hard backed leather. Sensing my excitement she immediately drops to her knees, it becomes clear this isn’t her first time.
We didn’t share names, we didn’t know how to find each other but the following night when I returned to the library she left a note.
‘That was fun, we should do that again’.
Why not check out this week’s entries for Masturbation Monday