I have never found it very easy to make friends. I’m not sure I really learnt the skills required to do so. We moved around a bit when I was young, so being the ‘new girl’ a lot made it easier. Everyone has to be nice to the new girl, it’s like the rules?! Well, when they weren’t I was then ‘looked after’ by some older kids. I was fairly small as a child and I think the teachers forced them to look out for me. As I got older and we stopped moving I didn’t have the ‘new girl’ status to fall back on, my friendship group shrank somewhat. But I would consider myself a loyal friend to those I am close to.
The first week of high school my pretty much only friend was on holiday. What an inconsiderate person. I remember being petrified that I was being thrown into an entirely new situation and all by myself. Have I mentioned before that I hate change? Luckily another odd small kid took pity on me and we became friends, we still are to this day.
By the time that the first day of Sixth form arrived, (I had decided to go to one separate from my current high school. Although an odd choice as it meant lots of change it was deliberately away from the girl that I had been in love with) I had a new way of dealing with feeling socially awkward and that was to drink.
After that it seems the only way I make friends is by pure accident.
Is the D/s world any different for me?
No, not really. I am still quiet and shy. My social skills are lacking. Along with PurpleSole being pretty much the same we find it hard to put ourselves in situations that would enable us to make like minded D/s friends. Earlier this year we attended Eroticon and had an amazing time. But we didn’t force ourselves enough to talk to people. We could have gotten so much more out of it but didn’t. I guess we sort of knew that would happen, I think we needed a couple of practice Eroticons’ before the real thing.
As of yet we haven’t told anyone in the vanilla world about our D/s, blog or anything. It’s not that we are really trying to hide anything, I do let bits slip occasionally. They just aren’t interested. My vanilla friends are firmly that, vanilla.
What has been amazing for us is the SafeworD/s Club. The regular chats have let us build up friendships with people on the site. I am not a huge fan of change so it’s nice that there are regulars on there that we now know, but with new people pretty much every chat session. This has enabled me to build up confidence in chatting with people online, something I find slightly easier than doing in person.
I am very thankful to missy and HisLordship as their friendships mean a lot to me. Not just because they run the SafeworD/s Club but for everything else they have done for us as well. I don’t want to sound too gushy but they are genuinely lovely people and they deserve the mention. Truthfully our D/s would not be the way it is now without them.
Something that I would like to do is attend more real life events to meet like minded people. I think it is really valuable to be able to talk and share with people. To be able to have more friends like us would be great.
I have written before about having an interest in playing with others. Although it is ultimately up to PS if he wanted our lifestyle to go in that direction and far from where we are now. But the main barrier we will face is us! Being shy and not confident means that we are yet to attend any real life munches or anything kink related. Even if we were to pluck up the courage to go to one it is highly unlikely the right couple/ people etc, will wander up to the shy couple in the corner talking quietly to one another.
Slowly I hope that we will push ourselves. Everyone we have spoken to so far has been lovely so perhaps eventually I will develop some people skills.