“I have a task for you. Go into the fridge, get the ginger and carve it into a butt plug.”
Smiling I make some joke remark about being tasked to make a ginger plug as his carving skills would be lacking.
He laughs it off and tells me to go and do it. Already I am fighting his control, the disrespectful little jokes are the first sign that I’m not in the mindset. Although our power exchange is at the core of our relationship and our D/s is our lifestyle. It isn’t at its peak all the time. It couldn’t be, there are too many outside factors for it to be like that for us. Plus we have experienced a prolonged drop recently, we let life and other things affect us for too long. This all combines together and forms a negative barrier for me sometimes. PurpleSole has to work hard to pick it away to reveal my submissive centre.
Why so reluctant
We have tried figging once before and I did enjoy it. So the play in itself wasn’t worrying me. Although I suppose the enjoyment might have been from trying something new and what I perceived as weird. Putting aside that the enjoyment might have been a fluke the big reason I was being difficult and evasive to PS’s control was because of exactly that, control. When we had tried using a ginger plug previously I was in the driving seat. It was new so other than deciding that we were going to do that play, PS took a more of a sit back and watch approach when it came to using the actual ginger. This time was going to be different.
PS had already started to set up the sex bench so I knew this time I was going to have to be more passive. I have written before about how my orgasms changed once we started D/s, the main reason for this was because PS took control of them. Before I was the one in control and could rely on myself to give me the orgasm I needed and wanted. When that changed, it took me a while to adjust to the control and almost let myself trust my pleasure with PS.
The same thing happens to me with play. If I am not in the right mindset I need to be softened and reminded of where the control lies. Firmly not with me. This of course can be difficult for PS. He has to first of all get the little hints that my mind isn’t following him the way it needs to be. Then he has to try and change it. It doesn’t always work out. I can be too off putting sometimes, the barriers in my mind too many. Even though I don’t want to be and sometimes don’t realise in the situation that I am. It ends up looking like I am being disrespectful to PS and not interested in what he has planned for me.
After I carved the ginger plug, insertable ginger finger and cap. What?! I had three pieces so may as well use them. I wandered back into the living room and awaited what I was to do next.
“Remove your clothes please and lie back on the bench, I want you to make yourself comfortable.”
I follow PS’s orders begrudgingly. In my mind I am debating with myself, trying to quieten the voice that just wants to stop and suggest doing something else instead. This is really hard to explain because I wanted to play, I wanted to be pushed out of my comfort zone. I really, really want to be submissive. But I also don’t because out of my comfort zone is well, uncomfortable. I will resist it as much as possible, I will act bolshy and if the voice of doubt wins, I will get my way and end up persuading PS that we should do something else. Yes, I am a fucking nightmare. But I don’t want to be, honest.
A slight warm tingling is felt around my vulva as PS starts to touch me. The ginger having touched PS’s fingers briefly must have had some of the juices on it. They were now transferring it’s prickling heat to my sensitive areas. He continues to caress me, my apprehension begins to soften slightly but I am still resisting. A list writing itself in my mind of what he could be doing better. What I would do if I was in his position, in control.
PS then picks up the ginger finger and starts to probe around my vagina lips, moving them aside and watches my body react. Further breaking down my barriers, this brings forward the humiliation I feel from being inspected. The heat of the ginger feels good, my body wants more. My hips rise, urging PS to insert the ginger inside me. He circles around my lips, ignoring my actions and taunting me further. I want to cry out that he should just shove it in but I remain silent. What I want to happen isn’t necessarily what I need to happen. Logically I know this but in the moment of play logic isn’t present.
Ginger plug orgasm
After playing around with me further, the ginger finger is inserted. Initially the burning from the ginger can’t be felt too much, only when my muscles tighten around it does the full effect happen. PS hands me the Satisfyer air pulse toy and asks me to use it on my clit. Leaving the ginger finger in place, PS then starts to work my tight hole. My body is tense. PS softly working his own finger around my arse is not doing enough to relax me. Plus the ginger juices are present and felt more around this area. I hear the squelch of lube coming out of it’s bottle and feel its cold touch at my arse. PS slowly pushes in the ginger plug, my body is reacting positively but it feels like it’s 3 steps ahead of my mind.
The ginger plug reaches its widest point inside me. The burning is intense in a really good way and makes my muscles contact. This sucks the plug in deeply to my arse and also squeezes the ginger that’s inside my vagina. I then panic. Like I said my body felt it was 3 steps ahead and now it was rushing itself towards an orgasm. My mind still wasn’t there. I also have to ask permission to orgasm and have a countdown beforehand. Fuck. An orgasm takes my body but not my mind. My muscles convulse and fire the ginger plug out of my arse.
A cooling treat
Not wanting the ginger to revisit my bum PS then gets the cucumber dildo I had carved the top layer of skin off. Did I forget to mention that earlier… He starts to insert it in, the cooling effect feels amazing. I continue to use the Satisfyer on my clit and my mind has finally caught up. It’s not long until I am pleading to be allowed to come. The combination of air pulse on my clit, ginger in my vagina and cucumber thrusting all the way in my arse makes for an intense orgasm. I am left a panting mess. The humming from the ginger burn on my vulva, the juices from the cucumber trickling down my bum crack both leaving me thoroughly humiliated and finally his.
Our power exchange is ever evolving but always remains at the core of our relationship. I may take time to soften and allow myself to be moulded to PS’s desires but I get there, eventually. The control is ultimately what allows my mind to be turned around. No matter how much I fight it, I still want it and need it. I used to think that I was being a bad submissive because I didn’t mindlessly follow all of PS’s orders. Maybe in time things will change, so much has changed in such a small amount of time so far. But for now I know that we will continue to work at and enjoy our roles and be the best submissive and Dominant that we can be.
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