The Inevitability of Change

The inevitability of change

There is nothing I like more than getting littlegem naked. To photograph, to play, simply to look at. However change is afoot.

There are two distinct parts of my life. The kinky lifestyle with naked photos side that you see here and the real life side. 

In real life we are a family of 4. Myself, littlegem and our two young daughters. So far littlegem and I have been able to play regularly and take photos, fitting it around our family commitments. However as they grow older things change. I wasn’t naive enough to think this wouldn’t happen, I know that change is inevitable. 

Our oldest daughter has transitioned from a cot with bars to a big girl bed. She is also potty training, so there is a big shift in her routine. This means that when it comes to bedtime at 7 no longer can we put them both down and that’s that.  

“I need a wee wee, I need a wee wee.”

This is all part of being a dad and it is part of bringing up a family. But it does get frustrating when it takes up to 2 hours to get her to lay in her bed and sleep. It challenges my mindset, it gets late and I want to sit down and do very little. Littlegem feels it too, at least I get a break by going to work during the week.

There has been a reduction in the play we do. That has a direct effect on the power exchange we have. Play puts littlegem is a submissive mood, which feeds my dominance. A lack of that has led to us slipping, but some of it can’t be helped. Ultimately the children come first. 

Getting that balance will take time, especially as change will continue to happen. Summer days mean it is light early, the older child will rise too, leaving the room and jumping in our bed.

So here are the considerations:

Should we continue using the chain that I cuff littlegem into at night? 

– What should I do about a loss of sleep? 

– How will I find time to play? 

 Are there others ways to maintain the dynamic?

Decisions will need to be made, most likely resulting in a compromise between what is best for the children and littlegem’s well being.

Recently we booked a couple of nights away, spending a bit more than we planned for just the two of us. We felt a bit guilty spending money needlessly on just ourselves. But later that night as I looked into the monitor to see my daughter screaming because I gave her the wrong colour sticker I thought to myself, yes I do deserve a break. 

Squeezing in time to play

This isn’t to say there isn’t time to be intimate. One night we found ourselves with a bit of time. The play I’d planned wasn’t going to happen so I had to think on my feet. I decided to tell gem to get on all fours while I take her roughly from behind. She was to be taken for my pleasure, at least that was the plan. It didn’t work out that way and littlegem was left disappointed, I felt awful that I hadn’t put her in the headspace. 

The following night we found ourselves in a similar situation, time was short so a more relaxed approach was taken. I used the Electrastim, trying with the dildo, followed by the pads. Laying on her front littlegem felt relaxed, so relaxed that she fell asleep! 

Heading upstairs to bed she knelt at the foot of the bed, ready to be let in. She was chained up and allowed in. Joining her we had a cuddle, then a kiss. 

Then it was like a spark ignited, within seconds we were fucking passionately. We needed this, we needed to feel and hear each others enjoyment. It was intense, I remember holding my hand over littlegem’s mouth as I thrust deep inside of her to stop her screaming. 

Laying back in the bed in the post coitus glow I ask, “shall we try to cuddle again?”

And we did, we both slept a lot better than we have for a while.


15 Replies to “The Inevitability of Change

  1. I think that it doesn’t always have to be elaborately planned. Sometimes the best scenes are spontaneous as I’m sure you know. I think spending a little money on yourselves is important too. If you want to be the best parents to your children, you need to be the best version of yourselves and you can’t do that without some (guilt free) time alone.

    1. True, it doesn’t seem to make a difference if it’s planned or not. But I like to plan and try new things sometimes.

      Yes that’s what we thought. Recharge ourselves and it will do us good, that’s my excuse anyway. Thanks blue ?

  2. Oh, when the kids get bigger… yes, things change, but you will find your balance again. You will find time to play, time to be intimate, because you want to. Like you say, the kids come first, but mommy and daddy need their time too. With time you will find a new ‘routine’…

    Rebel xox

    1. Thank you, especially since I know you’re on the other end with children leaving home. Yes we will find our way and take sexy pictures and do kinky stuff.

  3. Like you say, change is afoot, but that will continue to happen. There are always things which happen to challenge the dynamic but you will find a way to work around that. Yes you may look back longingly at the opportunities you had, but something else will have come along which is just as good but in a different way. As you say, yours is a lifestyle and there are other things which matter to you in your life. Never worry about treating yourself though. You absolutely do deserve it. A great post which is a good reminder to us all never to take things for granted ?

    1. Thanks missy, we do deserve it. The place we’re staying is beautiful so hopefully it’ll be a good opportunity for sexy fun. Plus I have a couple of weeks off soon so plenty of family time too.

  4. I’m at the other end of the tunnel. Only one child still lives with us permanently! Though we will likely have all four with us for portions of the next two weeks… While your children have to come first, you also must make time for the two of you. It recharges you and keeps your relationship strong. This is a must in any relationship. Don’t feel guilty. Just enjoy your time(s) alone and each other.

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  6. Hi PS/lg … you will find change will come with every milestone age of your kiddos and yourselves … and you will adjust and make each stage your own. Making time for yourselves, as you did recently (and no reason to feel guilty about it!) is key. We started a tradition when our kids were about the same age of yours … we made sure we got away for a few days every year around our anniversary … and that time was all about kink and sex and reconnecting ourselves. There was a lot of fun that went into the planning for those few days … some of it starting months in advance. It only happened once a year but some of our best intimate memories came from those times … and even tho’ we don’t need that annual ‘get away’ any more … we still do it … nj … xx

    1. That’s really sweet. We didn’t have anything fancy planned for our anniversary, just had a day at the beach and went home. This time we are going away and staying in a hotel well above our usual budget, hense the guilt. But yes we will make time for ourselves, plus the kids love nanny and grandad’s house. Thank you nj ?

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