Haven’t tried or are unsure about using role play?
It’s difficult to know where to begin with role play. It could be because it just doesn’t feel right, which is understandable. Feeling like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.
But it doesn’t have to be that way, role play is whatever you make it. I have found being open about those feelings with littlegem has been the best way to deal with my own thoughts.
- How will the scene play out?
- How do I use roleplay in a way that benefits my partner?
- What if I don’t know what to say?
That last one gets me. I’m not a chatty man, so expecting me to instantly become one is a little tricky. Words are important, to put your submissive in that head space. But by no means does it have to be a long monologue.
Script or Improvise?
In the beginning I would plan as much as I possibly could. A step-by-step plan of how the scene would go. I would think of the words I would say and think about how gem would react to it all.
But this was the problem. I couldn’t possibly account for how gem would react. The plan would go off course, I would struggle to know what to do and the scene wouldn’t go to plan.
Make a plan, absolutely. Fail to prepare and prepare to fail. But it needs to be flexible. No matter how much you know your partner you can’t predict how they will react. There could be outside factors at play, that may affect mood and headspace.
Some Examples of Play
So here are a few roleplays we have tried:
The Masseuse and the Client
We haven’t written about this one before. Maybe because it is quite simple. My character has booked a massage (by text a couple days previous) and arrives after a long day at work (not far from the truth). All I need is a name of my character and some basic details. As a Dom this play was fairly passive and didn’t require too much conversation. The power exchange comes from the service being provided.
Littlegem rubs my body with oils and it gets a bit sexy after that, but it needn’t go that far. After an hour my character thanks the masseuse and leaves the parlour (living room), ending the scene as pre-set before play.
The Pupil and the Headteacher
Related: Breaking the Rule
Oh how cliche.
This may seem like a negative statement, but it can be comforting when both of you know the roles that are being played out. It plays well to a sub with a little/middle side or maybe a bratty nature.
A stern voice, a playful spanking, you can use your imagination to take it the way you want. I wrote fake report cards, explaining littlegem’s naughty behaviour. It was a bit silly but I enjoyed the not so serious feeling.
The Prostitute and the Punter
Related: Welcome to the Jungle
If humiliation is your sub’s thing why not get her to dress up as a lady of the night, drive her somewhere and leave her there until ‘someone’ picks her up. It wasn’t going to be long, in this case as long as it takes to pull over, remove a child’s seat from the back and put it in the boot. Then simply drive up slowly as my character.
This was when dialogue was a bit tricky, I don’t know much about picking up prostitutes. Luckily neither does gem, so it can be cheesy, it can be silly, it can feel strange. My character was emotionally distant and he was only interested in sex. This made dominant instructions easier, as she was there for my pleasure. After a fumble in a nearby car park we had some hanky panky in our hotel room that we had booked.
The Spy and the Interrogator
Related: What is the Code (Interrogation)
By far the hardest roleplay I have done so far. It pushed my boundaries in terms of what I am comfortable doing. But I’m glad that I did. Safety was a big factor and it was important for me to research safe interrogation techniques.
Before the scene began, while littlegem was being tied down one of our children started crying. It was a distraction and took me out of the space I needed to be. This is when play doesn’t go to plan and you need to be flexible. Time was taken to allow the child to settle, as I closed my eyes and ran through everything I had planned. Was I ready? I had to be, I had put the effort in and I’ll be damned if I put off a scene I’ve been thinking about for months.
A few minutes in and I’m back in the game, impacting, e-stiming and ‘cutting’ her hair in a way to play with her mind.
How much role play?
How often you role play is up to you. I try to play once a month, too many can be exhausting and feel forced. What’s important is that you put in the effort, quality over quantity. Thinking up of an idea, researching, making props if necessary. Most of all keep it fun, after all it is an experience for all parties.