2019 has begun with a fizzle rather than a burning bang. Christmas is always busy and since then gem hasn’t been feeling herself. I spoke before about needing to push her, but if she isn’t feeling very well rather than not in the mood it puts me in a difficult position. On top of that we’ve been sorting out our child’s first birthday stuff. Ultimately we aren’t in the flow we normally are, but that’s how things go sometimes.
What we need is something to put us back in our positions as Dom and sub. What is tricky is knowing how to achieve that. We have our rituals, gem will still kneel in the evening before I come down and at the foot of the bed before I allow her in and put the chain and cuff around her ankle. Our dynamic has felt more nurturing with most of our time spent cuddling and talking. At some point I will have to take back more of the control that I have allowed to slip in this time. Without realising some of the ways we interact, how we address and act towards each other, have become easy and lazy.
The first step is that we have acknowledged that something needs to be done. What we really need is a scene that puts gem into a subspace that she has been longing for. The lack of really active play is noticeable.
There has been some play. Adapting to her needs means that we have done other types of play. One night we did some wax play, mainly because gem wanted to just sit down. It went much better than expected. It just shows that once you get the ball rolling everything can snap back into place.
Generally speaking we have a routine. For me, I need this routine to keep me on the right path. Without a deadline I can put off my ideas, over-thinking them so much that I don’t like it anymore. By having certain times for types of play I am more focused. For example roleplays are done on a Friday. It used to be every week, but that was too much. Maybe once a month now, so long as I push myself to think of a scene and just do it.
So I am determined to get over this by getting back on track with the routine. Tomorrow night is impact play night, I’m hoping that will provide us with the play we need to kick start our dynamic back to where it should be.
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