Doing it for the Kids


To be honest this Christmas hasn’t really been about the kink. While there have been a few things going on its been mainly about family. This year is the first Christmas with 2 children. It is wonderful to watch, I made sure to take plenty of photos and videos as they played together. They have lots of fun playing with family and friends that we see, opening presents and being swept up in the hype of Christmas. All this means that it is less relaxing for us, keeping an eye on both of them in case they go or do something they shouldn’t.

On a typical day I will go to work while gem looks after the children. I come home after 6pm, we have dinner as a family then get them ready for bed. If we’re lucky quiet falls upon the house around 7.30pm. Since I’ve got some time off for Christmas I’m around all day this means more family time for me. Gem does an excellent job on a daily basis with the children, because sometimes they aren’t always the little angels they pretend to be. They are hard work (but worth it). Unfortunately I have been guilty of not doing enough. 

On Christmas day we had been tired since mid afternoon and I had sat down. I needed to keep myself busy to avoid the post Christmas meal tiredness but I didn’t. We spoke about it the following day. We are a team when it comes to family so I shouldn’t continue to let gem do the majority share of looking after the children while I’m off work, it is her Christmas holiday too.

If anything it is a lot less tiring being at work. I don’t for a second think that gem has it any easier by not working. She is around those children all day, every day. She works her butt off making sure they are happy, fed and looked after.

So when it’s 7.30pm (or later, depending when the monsters angels have decided to sleep) it’s understandable why she needs me to take back some control. I am there to help her unwind, to get into a headspace so that she can feel herself again. I have underestimated the importance of her need to be controlled, so she may let go of the reigns of motherhood and sink into the pillow of submission.

D/s and children go together like oil and water. But if we didn’t have the children we probably wouldn’t have the dynamic we have now. The relationship between adult and child or Dom and both sub require constant work and can be a challenge. But the rewards for both far outweigh that, the love they give and the connection that you share.

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22 Replies to “Doing it for the Kids

  1. Gosh you’re lucky they go to bed…. our youngest didn’t sleep…. we would put him to bed and he would lie in bed awake until we went to bed. When he did fall asleep the slightest noise woke him up. Just as he settled down the eldest stopped sleeping (there’s 6 years between them) and he would make it well known he was still awake when we went to bed. Even knocking on the wall if we tried to make-love. There’s no way we would have got away with D/s activities like caning or flogging, or the mind blowing multiple orgasms I get, especially as I’m not the quietest ?☺️, without him ruining the moment!

    1. I think we may have that to come. They will grow up and understand what christmas is more and will be just as excited as mummy gets. We did get some kinky time early Christmas morning, gem should be writing about it sometime. Best we make the most of it. ☺

      1. Definitely make the most of it…. we only have the one at home now and you can guarantee that the minute we start any play he comes out of his pit (I mean room) and goes downstairs for a drink and food ?

        1. Let’s be honest. It’s almost impossible to have any fun when the child is at home. I mean the bed squeaks! Our door isn’t usually shut! We are seldom in our room past first thing in the morning! These are all things he would notice. So my Queen can’t relax. I just wish he’d go out more often—a lot more often!! ?

          1. It’s such a damn shame isn’t it…. we love the kids but you get to a point where you just want them to leave home!!!!!!! ?

          2. Sorry. Christmas Surprise! Check the time. Maybe you scheduled it by accident or the time is for days ago when you started writing it. If so, it might be days ago in my feed. Not many people ever scroll backwards in their feeds.

          3. I’ve put my phone down and see I’ve had an unusually large amount of comments ? haha. I have your post Sweet, that is I have an email for it.

  2. I think it’s wonderful how you realize that gem needs downtime too and how important it is for you to take control when needed. Lovely post.

    Rebel xox

  3. Sounds like you were able to take some time to really think about things, and thats pretty great for he holidays- sometimes they are too busy to be reflective.

  4. I don’t think we’d have our D/s too of it wasn’t for our children, and the reconnection that occurred after two long years of sleep deprivation from our youngest, and how looking after each other helps in looking after them as a fulfilled team. I hope you’re all having a wonderful break together x

    1. I don’t miss the lack of sleep. Ours weren’t too bad but we used to wake up thinking the kids were missing, it really messed with your head. We have been super busy which is good, but now we’re relaxing for a few more days. Hope you and your family enjoyed christmas too ☺

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