Picture the scene; PS, the kids and I eating breakfast at the table. Me rambling as usual about the latest dream I had the night passed, crumpet in hand. I notice a look on PS face, I’ve seen it before and I know what’s on his mind.
“We’ve let it slip haven’t we.”
PS and I have experienced a bit of a drop in our dynamic the last couple of weeks. The tell tale signs for us were there but we had not been acknowledging them as we should. We have been putting off play, I’ve not been writing as usual and I’ve slipped into bad habits of no exercise and eating junk food.
It doesn’t take much and the whole thing unravels and I’m usually at the start pulling the initial thread. This time it was a mix of sub drop after PS going back to work from a week on holiday, emotional stress from giving up dairy so I can still feed my youngest (and the effects of accidental consumption) and a very strong-minded two year old (takes after her mother!). All this together effects my emotional state which in turn exhausts me so I make excuses not to play. This then affects PS from feeling dominant, he finds it hard to juggle dealing with me being overly emotional and still assert his dominance. As soon as the dominance goes I have a habit of clawing back the control.
First thing was identifying the problems, getting to the root so we can try to fix it for the future. In this case it was the initial sub drop that started it off for me. So in the future when this happens I have asked PS to insist play in the evening and make it impact, a sort of maintenance for me. Impact play clears my head of everything and is for me one of the quickest ways to hit sub space. It also keeps our connection as PS needs to check in regularly to keep it safe. In turn this will help PS keep his dominance and hopefully stem any snowballing problems. The next thing we needed to do was implement something as a fail safe, incase we got past the initial problem and either impact didn’t help or failed to be carried out. This, we decided would be best as cock worship.
I’m not very good at being actively submissive, instead of just doing I tend to ask, which when PS feels a lack of dominance will just decline. Cock worship is different for me, usually during high protocol I am expected to cock worship at will and it always works well for us. So we have agreed that if I feel things have slipped in our dynamic this is something I am to just do. At the end of the day with all play if the other really doesn’t want to partake we can safeword.
Hopefully our new implementations will help, along with the all important communication, to keep our D/s selves strong. Life is always going to throw things at us, that’s never going to change. We just needed to have things in place to help us deal with them more efficiently.