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Well, this photo is really a rewind.

This was taken 3 years ago, before D/s, before having my children. PurpleSole had always wanted to take boudoir photos of me and I resisted, I didn’t feel comfortable, disliked my body. I finally agreed and this was the result (this was PS’s favourite photo and the one he had asked me to post…. A few weeks ago). About a month after taking this photo I fell pregnant with my first child and my body completely changed.

When I stop and really look at this photo, remember how I felt then. I can’t belive I didn’t think I was sexy, but I was. Compared to now what on earth was I so worried about. But you believe what you have been told for so many years, it’s drilled in and hard to erase.

My body has achieved so much since. I have grown and birthed two beautiful babies, nurtured them with my breast.

PS is slowly helping me see myself the way he sees me. So, I may not look like this anymore, my breasts may be saggier, my nipples larger and my stomach full of stretch marks but that doesn’t change anything, I’m going to say it, I am sexy.

One day, when I have the courage, I will take a photo in this position of the me I am now. But I am not ready, not yet.

Sinful Sunday

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

24 Replies to “Reflection

  1. You look absolutely gorgeous. I can totally relate to how pregnancy has left you feeling but I suspect you look just as stunningly sexy now as you did then.


  2. I know how you feel but I’m a bit further down the line. I didn’t like my body pre children but I’ve learnt to love it now – with its many flaws. You are what you feel and you should be proud and hopefully you’ll feel more than sexy in it again
    Missy x

  3. Hindsight is a thing, isn’t it! Really hope sinful sunday helps you to share the photo when u are ready – we really are a supportive bunch 😉

  4. Pregnancy does cause changes but they are lovely and sexy too!! I wish I knew a way to help women see themselves in a positive light! So many beautiful women feel bad about their bodies. It’s a shame!! This pic shows a beautiful you—and a new pic taken today would show a beautiful you (changed but still sexy and beautiful). This is something I know!

  5. I completely understand where you are coming from, we rarely know what we have at the time despite being told. A beautiful image xx

  6. You do look absolutely incredible in this photo. I imagine if you do take one of you now then in three years you will look back at it in the same way.
    Aurora x

  7. I get those feels – I think anyone who has experienced childbirth will prob have the same.
    Taking part in Sinful Sunday has really helped me fight the demons so I truly hope it has the same effect for you <3

  8. Beautiful image, it’s lovely to take time to reflect, but try not to compare as your body is in a different place now, having developed for wonderful reasons! X

  9. You do look delectable and sexy here, but I suspect that the journey your body has been on has given you confidence in so many other areas (I hear your pride in nurturing your children breaking through your prose) so – although your body has changed you will gradually realise that you ooze sexiness. Your allure is of a woman grounded, and centred in herself and hopefully you will love it as much as your man does.

  10. I firmly believe that sexy is a state of mind, so you’re sexy no matter what you look like. I so totally relate to having body issues, being self-critical, and not liking to have pictures taken. This really is a beautiful picture. Thanks for sharing! ?

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