“You seem to like Purple”
I turned to face my boss of 7 years, looked down at my purple shirt, the tools I work with, decorated in purple leather, then back to him.
“Yes..” I replied slightly bemused. This is the person I talk to most, apart from Littlegem. He knows a lot about me, including the fact I wore purple eye contacts during my A levels. I was wearing purple underwear that day too, not that he knew that.
Before I started writing I would have said I didn’t know where the purple thing came from. Thinking about it now it was probably the end of high school.
I hated high school with a passion. When the final day came and we were allowed to wear whatever we liked. I didn’t dress that differently, but I did dye my hair with a purple spray. It’s fair to say they noticed. But this time the name they called me wasn’t a slur on my height, or my long hair. It was purple, something that acknowledged that I was different, but not in a negative way.
The only part of my body I like is my hair. It is thick and does what it’s told most of the time. I grew it long, but with my short, slender statue it gave me an androgynous look. Being mistaken for a girl only bothered me because of the negative comments. I even found the funny side of being wolf whistled by a man in a van.
I have matured since then, my hair is generally shorter now. But the purple elements in my life remains.
So to the point, and there is one this time. Just like my association with purple we can easily assume that somebody knows what we like. We can hint and make subtle comments. Unless we are clear, how can our partner know what we really want? It’s not just communicating, but doing so in a way that others can learn. When discussing kink it can be easy to shy away. But as long as you have full trust in your partner there is no reason to worry.